The perception of loss

David Markrof April 25, 2018

Loss, as is applicable here, is unreal. Nothing of these items can truly be lost for they are conceptual, whether they be held personally or collectively. They can be seen as ideals. Yet, there can be the perception of loss, as in loss of standing, loss of stature, or loss of reputation.
These are psychological losses, perceptive losses. Whether within one's own mind, or out in the community, every effort is made to prop up one's acceptability because one's ranking in the community is all. Now, where does that leave us, as a culture, as a society?
Focused on appearances. On soundbites. On flimsy arguments. On diverting attention away from actual issues. Saving face is the most important thing and is employed in nearly every interaction, up to the most minute instance. You can never be the 'real you', save in the most rare of circumstances. Too dangerous. You must mask your true self to achieve your aims.
Thus, you, me, and our brethren tend to be shallow and superficial, and can turn on a dime, or a whim, depending upon a hint of a rumor, a scent of a scandal, or a whiff of an opportunity for personal gain. Mercenaries we are, to one degree or another. Just the way it is.

The operating system of humanity has refined, to a very fine degree in this digital age, the ability to think on one's feet, react and repel without a moment's hesitation because, should the foe take hold of an unguarded corner that protects one's standing in the community and then choose to exploit it, all could be lost in a hurry before you know it. Rapidly planted in the minds of many could be a different perception of you and once it is there it is hard to disprove, careers could end overnight. A good example of this, among many, is comedienne Kathy Griffin. She was attacked in such a manner, grieviously wounded, and had to go away to heal, regroup, and bolster her sense of self before once again choosing to enter public life.
This is exactly why the current president is so quickly and vehemently on the attack. He knows that in hesitating to respond, public opinion could be swayed. Relenting or apologizing in any way is a sign of weakness, for that hints that there is something there other than unshakable self confidence.
So there you have it, today's train of thought. Our society is in danger of becoming so fake, so based on perception only, that nothing real can be supported. The social fabric that binds us could give way for when the new 'normal' is that everybody is only out for themselves NOBODY is left to hold the higher ground. Depth needs to be re-established, true strength of character needs to be displayed, there need be giants upon which the people can have their faith in humanity restored. There are many of those today, people who act responsibly, sanely, and with thought to the future. I've known quite a few folks like that just in my runnings around town so I think it's not a stretch to assume people like that are dispersed throughout society. If you need a little inspiration, look to the balanced people that are around you. They understand that it's called The Human Race for a reason, not Donny's Treehouse, Paul's Investment Club, or Sarah's Pulpit.

Wait for it...... wait for it..... here it comes....

David Markrof April 24, 2018

Allegations. Hearsay. Heresy. Counter strategy. Denial. Diversion. Retrenchment. Flight. Backpedaling. Backlash. Whitewash. Spin.
No topic is immune. Nothing is sacred and nothing is real, yet SOMETHING is real. But what is it? Cat and mouse, over and over. Who's on first? Why isn't this done? 'It' done? It being done? Who's doing it? When will we know? Why do I, must I, or should I care? Does ANYBODY care? Who's involved? At what point did he realize..... ...did they know....
Snippets, cuttings, blacked-out paragraphs. Leaks. Statements. Statements of fact. Fake news. Trustworthy sources. Checkered pasts. Shadowy figures. Coercion. Possible blackmail. Possible involvement. Hints of fraud.
Who ARE these people? Sounds like office politics times a million.

It's tied up in the courts. Don't go there, go here. Look here. Over here. I found something! No, wait, it wasn't what I initially thought.
Mind yer own business The business of business. Good ol' boys club. Networking. The Matrix. What is on second.
All will be revealed- tomorrow! Next week. A year from now. In fifty years. After the court unseals the documents. When the time is right. After the election. Upon my retirement, firing, resignation, sabbatical, round of golf, lobotomy, the Godfather's blessing.
"It's not up to me, us, or you to decide". "Further evidence will show". "I've recanted, retracted, redacted (and even refracted!) any previous statement". "I've seen the light". "Been enlightened". "Come away from the meeting with a different view".
I Don't Know is on third.

Finchley, Criswell, & Paxton, ESQ (and....)

David Markrof April 23, 2018

"Time to lawyer up!"
Time to WHAT? I'm sorry, but that's a little (in fact way) out of my league. I don't 'lawyer up', and neither do most people. We're not juggling multiple lawsuits or denying allegations or propping up our reputations by any means necessary. How do the people that have 'legal teams' do it? How can they find the TIME?
The last thing I want to be doing is sitting in their shoes but they appear to be unrealistically nonchalant about the messes they're in. Normal life to them, I guess, just a cost of doing business, but I know (or at least think I do, have heard, it is commonly known) that lawyers are EXPENSIVE. Just one! And they're talking about hiring the BEST ones.
Denny Crane to the rescue! (Leave Perry Mason out of it, not in his league)
Which brings up another topic, quite related, and that is that the finer points of the law are subject to much speculation.

Congress passes laws. States do too. Municipalities. Authority figures. Employers. The damn Boy Scouts.
Flaunting the law seems to be 'de rigueur' in these weird times. A cavalier attitude towards it prevails, and influencers (lawyers) are there to help achieve their brash client's ends in front of juries and judges and counsels and whatnot and am I the only one confused by all this?
Pundits on TV argue 'for this' and 'against that' as if the law was something NOT set in stone but still in its formative stages. Existing laws MUST be changed, and newer laws MUST be enacted in their place. Right this minute! Nobody agrees on anything as the weary world watches and sighs "There must be a better way!"
Who's the captain of the ship? Mutiny is all around while Queeg holes up in his quarters planning his next desperate move. "Enough of this already!" many say, but who is listening? The shouts of the mutineers drown out any voices of reason and common sense has gone on a overly long vacation. Battle is going to settle this and no other method shall be employed. Hurry, before the foe reaches the high ground! Repel the attack and launch a counteroffensive! Just like the olden days, this is, 'cept it's not troops fighting one another this time, it's LAWYERS.

The layout of the earth revealed!

David Markrof April 22, 2018

In this day and age, there is soooo much exposure to, well, everything. Unprecidented access. Depending on what you type into the search field on whatever search engine you like, you can explore whatever topic interests you.
This I have done, and will continue to do.
Lately, I've been foolin' around with Google Earth and seeing what different cities in different countries look like. The resolution is good up to a certain point in some areas, while in others you can zoom right down to street level and virtually be there, in that neighborhood, which is really freaky, almost voyeuristic.
Tip of the iceberg, so far. So much more to explore, and I get tired after a while, so I move on to different sites.
It's crazy, man, wild, and raises a lot of questions. Who is building this thing over here? What is going on in this complex there? Has anybody ever set foot on this island in the middle of the ocean that has only shrubbery on it? This place looks partially abandoned, this one is crowded beyond belief, this town's roads are all dirt, etc., etc.

Why can't the resolution be better? Hmm.....
Maybe it's better if it wasn't, for any number of reasons.
I can travel and not leave the sofa. Unheard of only thirty years ago, unless I read National Geographic or watched TV, those portals being extraordinarily limited compared to what I can do now.
The realization that comes up in my mind about all this is if I can get this kind of access so can anybody else with a computer in most countries and so we're looking at each other, in a way, seeing what it's like to live in each other's neighborhoods. I can't go into their houses but I can walk down (some of) their streets and that tells me a lot about their culture. I can't be polarized or have a strong opinion about them after seeing this because hell, they live kind of like I do. Not much difference, really. Everybody lives in a house of some kind, there are streets that go from house to house, and bigger roads that lead people to where they work, there are airports and shipping docks and all that, farmfields, recreational facilities...
.....but, as well, I'm not naive. I know that there is vile corruption and heartless oppression going on in many of the areas that I view but- the basic layout of civilization is undeniably present.
Occasionally exploring, and armchair traveling I will be. Also waiting for further upgrades of Google Earth. This is getting interesting.

Wingin' It

David Markrof April 21, 2018

Trust is sitting down at the keyboard and not having a clue about what you are going to write. There isn't a hint of a thread to follow at present. Let's see where trust takes me......
The other day, at sunset, I was looking out the window and listening to the birds. It was very, very quiet, and the only sound to be heard, other than the birds, was the rising and falling of the wind as it passed through the trees. I could also faintly hear, at one point, the 'beep beep beep' of a truck backing up somewhere in the distance, then that went away.
The clouds near the horizon, just to the right of the setting sun, moved silently and slowly towards the south, while a patch of higher clouds above them gave the backdrop for a beautiful orange reflection as the sun slowly sank towards the horizon.
This was a good 'un, I immediately ranked this sunset at about an 8.5.

About this time you would think that profound thoughts about the meaning of life and one's place on the planet would slip in but no, what was going on in my mind was watching and observing, mainly, but not commenting much. There was still some activity, though (always is).
Overlaying our everyday busyness is THIS, which some call nature. I see it also as the rhythm of the planet. She is slow, steady, methodical, patient, benevolent (mostly), powerful, awe inspiring, gentle (usually), steady, supportive, quiet, undemanding, giving, there.
Wow. You just forget, you know? Sunset reminds you, reminded me, of something else too, in fact a lot of somethings. Time. That's a big one. Space, another. Deeper than deep, THIS stays in the background most of the time, especially during the bright, noisy, and busy parts of the day but sunrise and sunset, now that's different.
I watched and watched, this sunset called for attention! The orange gave way to crimson, deeping shadows started creeping in around the edges, the crimson gradually turned to gray, and then it was over. What am I supposed to do with THIS? Put it in my pocket? Save it somewhere? A photo, a video, a memory?
Can't, didn't, wouldn't, couldn't. It was meant to be witnessed but not preserved.
Krishnamurti said something in one of his many books about the fragility of life, how death is required so that we can treasure life. Sunset provides contrast like that. The day ends, and when it does, baby, it ENDS. There's no arguing that. Darkness floods in, the beach clears, let's pack it in and go watch Netflix or something. Ain't gonna be no more light.
Sunrise then comes, some hours later, and "Yea!" we get another day to experience, like that it goes... ...experiencing whatever the new day brings, appreciating what we can of it, and then TOTALLY- that is key here- letting go of it when it's over. This is what is asked of us in the physical.

River of words

David Markrof April 20, 2018

I see myself shooting down a water slide, the water and the chute made up of thousands and thousands of words. As I rush along the chute gives way to a bigger and then even bigger opening until the chute becomes the banks of a fast moving river. Everything along the bank is made up of words- the bank itself, the trees and the shrubbery lining it, but there are no buildings or people.

The river broadens still, becomes slightly slower moving, and this process continues until the river meets the sea, which, like the river, is made of words.
Evaporating up into the sky (made of words) are the words from the sea. These words are carried towards land where they precipitate and reform, becoming other words. Now the scene changes to a city. Everything in the city is made up of words but now within and around the words are symbols here and there, which are, if you look very, very closely, made up of tightly compacted sets of words. Pictures appear on screens, these being similarly compacted word packages. Data streams by in the air, like a million gosssamer threads, going here, there, everywhere, passing right through people, pets, and buildings.
Words in the city turn into thoughtforms now, forming and dissipating rapidly, like fast moving clouds do. Some thoughtforms build into bigger ones, while others decrease in size. Rarely is the sky clear anywhere.
Day gives way to night and this activity decreases, but still continues in pockets here and there.
Eventually the lowest point of activity is reached, there is space between a lot of the days' thoughtforms. New concepts appear in these regions as different arrangements of words are tried on for size. The thoughtforms are reformatted and revitalized, you could say.

Night gives way to day, and the process repeats itself. Never are the words, the data, exactly the same as the day before. Everything presented in the new days' data stream, like on all the days previous, is interpreted for personal meaning. Favorable personal meaning builds bigger, more cohesive, and perhaps mutually-shared thoughtforms, while the lack of meaning or importance dissipates them.
An overall vibration ensues, stronger in some regions of the planet, lesser in others, but whatever vibration is agreed upon as this days' 'reality' is shared. A gestalt of billions is formed.
Knowing this, you can see that one steadily-held assemblage of words (a thoughtform) can be more powerful than a large number of wavering thoughts. Purity of thought will override a torrrent of words. Be as a rock in the stream if you'd like to ponder any choice because this river of words flows daily, and on some days stronger than others, due to storms.

The baffling case of Raisonne Caine

David Markrof April 19, 2018

The judge passed down the sentence. "A million years to live!".
I was crushed, and led away from the courtrom sobbing.
Once I was back home, I wailed and railed at the injustice of it. "Why me? Why me?!" I pleaded, looking skyward, but no answer came. Over the days, weeks, and months to come, I sank into depression.
"What am I going to do with all of this time?" I wondered aloud, while pacing a groove in my living room floor, during moments of lucidity.
Eventually, inactivity and anger gave way to boredom. I was forced to act. I was not limited by money, the judge had seen to it that the state would provide me with modest means throughout the sentence period. If I wanted any more than that I would have to earn it for myself.

I searched for fun things to do first, of course, but as time dragged on, as it does, I turned to more time consuming things. I took up scrimshaw carving, stacked millions of dominos then watched them fall, and did puzzles that had thousands of similar-looking pieces. I went door to door and volunteered to remodel people's houses, then spent hours upon hours at hardware stores matching paint colors and searching for plumbing parts. I started a car detailing business, and after that opened a piano learners school, but still so much time remained.
Over thousands of years I became adept at many, many things and outlived hundreds of wives. My children came and went, then their childrens' children. I saw them grow, age, and then die. I, however, stayed stubbornly twenty-two. What a curse! What a curse this was!
Around my hundred thousandth year, I became desperate and again tried suicide to relieve me of my pain. But, as had been hammered home to me many times before, I was unable to do so. Somehow the judge had seen to that, I did not know how they did it, and here by this time I thought I knew everything.

Societies rose and fell, I watched them and took what enjoyment I could from each and every one but whatever enjoyment I had was only fleeting, and STILL time remained.

I don't know how I survived it, but after going though the seemingly interminable passge of hundreds of thousands of years, the day came when I was to be released. Funny, it came faster than expected, who would have thunk it? Anyway, the great, great, ........etc. grandson of the original judge that sentenced me summoned me to appear and I made my way to the great court building where I had been so burdened those many years before, only this time I was there to be freed. Freed! After sooooo many, many years! (and if that sentence seems too much, it is)

Standing before the judge, I trembled with anticipation as he called for silence before he spoke. There were others witnessing, and I was being made an example of.
"Young man" he began, "you have endured a lengthly sentence for a horrible crime that you can't even remember committing. But the halls of justice forget not. You have paid back your dues to society and are once again to be free, to live a normal life of seventy-odd years. However, before I free you, I would like to ask you: Have you LEARNED anything?"
"Yes, your honor" I replied. "I have. Many, many things. Uncountable numbers of things"
"And how has that worked for you?" he queried further.
"I feel I have become a much more rounded individual"
"In what ways?"
"I have become more tolerant of others, for one thing"
"Good. Go on"
"I have also become more patient, kind, loving, compassionate, understanding..."
"I get it, you don't have to ramble"
"No you don't! I HATE what I have become! I can't be a normal person anymore! I, I, CARE too much, yet at the same time, I could care less!"
"Is that a problem?"
"I can't make whatever it is that I've become leave my mind, I can't make it go away. I'm different from everybody around me. I... I.... I'm content"
"No greed, avarice, jealousy, lust, hunger, drive, motivation, searching, yearning, questing, or desiring anymore"?"
"None of that"
"Ok, you're free to go"
"But wait! Who is going to take care of me now? I have no money! I made fortunes but spent them all. What I have with me is just the clothes I'm wearing. I gambled everything away last minute, just in case you thought having money might mean I'm not reformed".
"Are you?"
"YES! Let me out of this raw deal! Please (your honor, sir, O Grand Wizard, your eminence.....)!"
"Okay, okay. Don't worry about money, I've got a twenty for you, courtesy of the state. That'll get you supper for tonight then after that I'm confident that you'll figure it out, since you have before. But before you go back out into the world to live a normal life, one thing"
"Yes?"
"Come closer, approach the bench. I don't want this overheard by the others"
I made my way close. Once there, the judge leaned over and whispered into my ear. "Tell others about your experiences"
"Wha? Huh? Uh, ok"
"Tell them everything! Whoever asks. And leave out not the tiniest detail, because just between you and me, they've been sentenced to a million years too! They just don't know it! Maybe you can make their sentences shorter. They think this life is the only one but oh no, they'll be back again and again and again until they get to the place where you are, where it just doesn't matter. You call that contentment, I call that graduation. Graduation means I (or my bretheren) won't see you around here anymore. Well done, son!"
"Thanks, uhm, 'God'. Can I call you that?"
"Mmmm no, I'd prefer you didn't. Too many strange connotations"
"Ok, my bad. Guess I'll be going then" I turned to leave the courtroom. Looking back, the judge seemed totally unconcerned as to my further welfare. His attention was on the full courtroom and the next case, who was with his lawyer waiting before the witness stand.
Outside the courtroom was the cleanest, freshest air I'd felt in a thousand years. A passerby noticed a spring in my step and the huge smile on my face. He queried me as to what was making me feel so good, for he wanted some of that feeling too.
"Don't frickin worry about it!" I told him. He jumped back a bit, startled by my outburst. "It's all good!" I crowed.
"Come again?" He managed to utter. "I don't understand..."
"Whatever happens, you'll have enough (more than enough!) time to figure it out. Don't worry about ANYTHING".
"Gee, uh... thanks- I guess.".
"Time, my friend, is on YOUR side, not the other way around!" I said as I skipped away, which I hadn't done for tens of thousands of years. I knew that whatever came up in the future, he would figure it out, just like I'd done. There was noooo hurry. Then after that there would be no hurry either-
Only BEING.

Legalese

David Markrof April 18, 2018

(Thought a little lawyer talk was in order so read carefully!)

Section A, Article 1.
Thoughts, opinions, viewpoints, ruminations, any and all manner of expression here are covered by the understanding that it is the reader's responsibility to judge, interpret, bring to conclusion and/or comprehension that which is presented. No effort will be made by the author to connect EVERY dot, however many there may be. Conjecture applies.
2. From time to time, that which seems to be contrary to what has been expresssed before may arise. This will more often than not result from a different level of understanding being attained by the author. Due to the realization that some concept wasn't fully explored, this seeming renenging on a prior claim might be to complete a thought, opinion, rumination, etc. earlier expressed but not felt to be captured in its entirety. In other cases, it may be due to the difficulty of trying to put concepts into understandable form and inadvertently crossing paths with a previously expressed line of thought. In those cases it's not so important HOW the conclusion is reached, only that it is realized, and seen to be valid.
3. It is understood that the author will make every attempt to be fair, and present concepts in ways that bring a lack of offense; however, if so construed as to be considered otherwise, the general rule to follow shall be that it was unintentional and ony due to lack on the author's part to bring balance into the explanation. Perfection is something to strive for but is rarely achieved.

4. Thus, continuing, all conceptual understandings are to be considered malleable, that is, evolving, and should be viewed as such. It is further understood that the author may have a greater or lesser knowledge of the subject matter than the reader, the only difference between the two being that an EFFORT was made to express them (i.e. you are reading the author's words and he not yours).
5. Purity of expression is always the goal, and this shall be the considered the continuing endeavor of the author every time he sits down to write. Interpreting concepts is his personal interest. Presenting them for mutual benefit is his immediate aim. His overall, and over time, intention is for the betterment of the whole.
Lastly, the author urges all interested parties to come to their own conclusions about anything expressed now or in the future concerning what is expressed here. Think for yourself (please!) and take not my thoughts, opinions, ruminations, etc. as absolutes by any means. I strive as one pointing towards something that lies beyond words, that which I believe is all encompassing, eternal, and ultimately unable to be expressed for it is a living truth. It is who we are, are becoming more consious of, and it is with greatest humility I approach this awesome reality offering up words to try and describe the indescribable, my vain, perhaps, attempt to bring, in some manner, comprehension of that which is always present. The Isness, the All, our reason for being.

Le Cause Celeb

David Markrof April 17, 2018

I saw, on the TV last night, one of my (I guess I could say) 'heroes', though I prefer not to use such a charged word, moving through the world doing what she does but she didn't look as happy as she used to. She looked somewhat stressed and put upon but I feel she was doing what she was doing for the people, trying to reach the people, with her message.
Long Island Medium, Theresa C.

Back in the day I wanted to do that, be like her and so many other intuitives, I felt it was my calling. However, back then it was hard to get any training in such arcane subjects, or even talk about them with anybody at all. Anyway, for various reasons, I never made the leap and she did and now she's got her own TV show, the producers have her bestowing readings like the fairy godmother has arrived, and she's as big as she wants to be, which is very brave and were I in her shoes I wonder if I would welcome such exposure or shrink from it but it's happening fast, in real time. There's not much that is going to stop you when you're in demand like that because 'strike while the iron is hot', 'take the opportunity', 'it's divine timing', 'here's your chance', and similar factors drive decisions at that point. Anyway, a big "Yea!" for her.

I've always admired people that stood up for what they felt was that higher intelligence coming through and I have known or been around many who were gifted but I'll tell ya, folks, the ones I've been around don't really want to be doin' it or be up on the stage under the bright lights. They have a message, yes, and they'll give it to you, but what they'd really like to say is "Do the work. You can learn how to do this for yourself." They don't want to be up there FOREVER. They act as the bridge, they're showing you what's possible, but I know (from direct experience!) that they don't want to be fielding too many of your burning questions because for them it gets old. Can I even say boring? Yet, out of that well of compassion in their hearts, they'll lift you a bit, but it ain't gonna be endless like this, no way. I'm sure that conditional clause is written somewhere in their life contract.

"Who wants to man the 'Information' booth? Volunteers? Anybody?" Maybe I heard that distant call early and chose the path that led me towards this sofa I'm lying on instead. But.... ....that could change!

Thanks, Twitter

David Markrof April 16, 2018

While I do enjoy the genial conversations this platform enables there's nothing like the daily (or even hourly, sometimes) Twitterstorms, are there? You get a ringside seat at All Star wrestling, you can be that fly on the wall in the locker room, you can overhear what's being said during the barroom brawl or step behind closed doors in the boardroom and witness what they really think.
Thanks, Twitter. What would we do without you? Now I know the company has 'pologized for some of their users' behavior, but top brass at the brand has insisted over and over that we need to have this unprecidented access. I'n not so sure that that is a good thing, but they haven't relented and so the daily mudslinging continues.
How low can we go? Verbal sparring used to be held in an arena that at least had some semblance of decorum, they would call these 'debates', and learned men would judge the veracity of one man's argument vs. the other's and determine who's argument was the stronger. Ha! Not so anymore!
Now it's who is the better schoolyard taunter, shouting across the playground? Who's the master at 'Yo' Mama'? Who's got the whip hand when it comes to dishin' dirt?

Thoughtful arguments, measured positions, and researched stances- who needs that when you can just pull out your Twitter six shooter and give the other slinger a broadside? Yeah! That's how we roll.
In 280 characters or less give us a tweet and make it good 'cuz lined up in the que are ten thousand others that are crafting their 280 character or less responses. Bit by bit we'll strive for comprehension, piece by piece, and block by block, but we'll never know any complete story because we're limited to a paragraph and a half and we've got very short attention spans anyway. Hopeless, this seems.
However, if we are persistent and follow the feed long enough, and are able to retain salient points, enough data will accumulate in our minds and a comprehensive picture, sort of like a mosaic, might dawn in our craniums and the big picture will be revealed. Until then (if that ever happens)-

"What's the latest?!"

The great immigration debate

David Markrof April 15, 2018

'America -Love It Or Leave It' used to be the saying. Now it's something else. 'Protect it. Save it. Guard it. Keep interlopers out'.
Were I to fancy the idea of immigrating I would think first of going to a different state, as I have done many times. The times when I 'immigrated' to other states there weren't any guards at the state line, ever, but once inside the boundaries of some states I got a little pushback, not much, but the sort of pushback that gets the point across to you that "We do things a little different roun' heah'".
Got it!
Later, I did a little traveling internationally and found out just how danged lucky I was to be livin' in the ol' USA.
Traveling outside of our great land, you carry a thing called a passport, which is your national identity card, so to speak. It tells the people at whatever border you are crossing what nation you hail from (which they may or may not be good friends with) but more importantly it tells those people where you are eventually going to go back to because, sooner or later, the understanding is, you're going to be going back.
Some countries I entered gave me six months to visit, some three months, some thirty days, and one only ten days. Stay any later than that and there are ramifications. (fines, usually).

Now it never occurred to me to even think about crashing the party, that is, coming across a less-guarded part of the border, entering uninvited, and then making myself at home. Not that coming in the front door was much easier, mind you. Let's take England, for example. In England I could hardly understand some of the people that were talking 'english' to me! I stuck out like a sore thumb, missed soooo many of their linguistic nuances, gave myself away as an outsider every time I had to speak, and fumbled about as I discovered, over and over, their unique ways of doing things. I calculated that it would take me YEARS to fit in, if ever, and even after that I would always be an outsider because I wasn't born there and didn't grow up there, all of that not-part-of-the-local-tribe stuff I had experienced living in different states. I was quite surprised to experience this level of disorientation in a country where most people looked like me and where the culture was so similar to my own. I thought I knew these guys. Hey, I watched the BBC!

Also, the border officials hadn't been exactly welcoming when I arrived. I got the distinct impression that they were under orders to look for and keep out any potential job seekers. I wasn't looking for work but I must have fit their profile. Upon entry my passort was stamped 'No recourse to public funds allowed' or something like that. I found out once inside the country that lots of Eastern European people were trying to get into England to work because of the value of the English pound and that the country was losing many of its entry level jobs to foreigners.
Everywhere I went after England was more or less the same story. The welcome mat was out if you had tourist dollars but if you wanted to live there the governments preferred that you fit their 'qualifications', those being that either you were young, independently wealthy, highly skilled (and that they needed people with those skills), or that your were a businessman seeking to set up shop and employ their workers. The door was never open for layabouts. If you were a marginal person it was "Sorry, go elsewhere. ANYWHERE else!". Universal was the lack of any government having the desire to take on a financial burden. But, if you were a refugee from somewhere and were reluctantly granted residency, the government that let you in was highly desirous that you get off the dole and be a productive member of society As Soon As Possible.

For most people, the door to immigration isn't really open very wide anywhere in the world, and this is especially true in the western countries. You'd BETTER love the USA because this is probably going to be your home for life (a life sentence!) was the message I got, from customs agents around the world. And I DO like it here. I understand the culture, can relate to what's going on around me, and there's lots of room to move about, compared to places like Thailand. The internet works real good, and the power is almost always on!
I also know what those people knocking on the door at the border are experiencing, more or less. An incredibly daunting attempt to make it here, if allowed. And not only here but any other country that will take them in.
Whether they are good people or bad people, I don't know. What I do know is that governments around the world don't like taking on other country's problems and because I have a golden ticket, my passport, I am able to leave and then then get let back into my home, a particularly desirous one, the US of A.

'Love It or....? ....Nah, black and white like that really doesn't apply to an issue that's more akin to a fuzzy gray area.

Poor ol' Joe Sixpack

David Markrof April 14, 2018

All alone at the bar of life. Let's drop in and see how he's fairing.

"Hey there, Joe. Havin' a cold one, are ya?"
"Yeah"
"Howzit?"
"Not so good. Lots of politicians talk about me, but none of 'em help me. Ain't no good jobs around here like there used to be"
"Ya gotta do now what ya gotta do"
"What, move to China? There and Mexico is where all the jobs went. Lookit- the factry towns what used to be here is now over there"
"Go to school why don'tcha?"
"Don't want to go to no damn school. Just give me a job to go to and a six pack at the end of the day. I ain't going anywhere. I like it here. Here's where I grew up"

"'Fraid that's not possible anymore. You have to make your way in the new economy. Find your niche, make it happen, start a business, maybe even hire people. Job hop, seize opportunities, work a couple of part time jobs, educate yourself in some skill-set, use the power of intention, whatever it takes. That's how it's done. Don't you listen to podcasts or read any, uh, current books, magazines? You know what is available on the internet? Lots!"
"What the hell I want to do any of that for? Makes my head hurt, thinkin' 'bout all that."
"You got to get up to speed, Joe"
"Why for? My daddy didn't have to"
"Ain't like that anymore, I keep tellin' you".
"That's fer damn sure!"
"Say Joe, I gotta run. Gotta meet with my team. We're going to launch a new product and I want to make sure everybody's on board with our marketing strategy."
"Got time fer just one round? It'll be like old times""

"Nah Joe, can't. But I will stay and tell ya this. You know, Joe, those jobs they've been promisin' ya ain't coming back. Ain't gonna be like it was. Cheap labor, large profit margins, and shoddy ethics drives business today. Most of 'em got no problem in takin' as much as they can get away with. They say they 'have to do it to survive in the global economy'. While some of that may be true, interpret that to also mean that they don't care about guys like you. They claim to care, but that's just to get you to vote for 'em. Don't wait on their empty promises. Yer better off reinventin' yourself".
"Kinda figured. This bar used to be full of regulars like me...."
"Guess I'll be goin' then"
"See ya". (Joe raises his glass, looks down the bar) "Barkeep!"
"Yeah, Joe. What do you want?"
"Pour me one for the road"
"You ain't gonna drive, Joe! Those days are over too!"
"Yeh, I know. Wife's gonna pick me up".

Peace on earth?

David Markrof April 13, 2018

Is the goal of all futurists but the reality of peace on earth is that it is going to put a lot of people out of a job. We're so wildly inefficient as a race now that bringing this planet into harmonious interaction is going to eliminate all military forces, for what would be the use of those anymore? Goverments would be greatly reduced in size, especially court systems, as there would be compliance with the law nearly everywhere and not that many people would be needed to enforce laws. Travel would most likely increase, so there would be jobs in tourism, and employment in the arts would explode, because peace on earth would give all of us loads of free time. If you wanted to spend 10,000 hours (the time it is said for you to become incredibly proficient at anything) you would have it, I suppose. This is all conjecture, to be sure, but peace on earth would have the people writing screenplays and novels scrambling for subject matter as all the melodramas we currently experience would be greatly reduced and so minor anymore as to seem quaint.

Would there be a backlash to this degree of quietude, would a faction rise up to provide the human race with stock car races, frat parties, and rock concerts where the best actors/singers of our time emoted for us problems that are long gone and almost unknown by the present generation? Would there be an interest in that sort of stuff anymore or would it seem extraordinarily disruptive and harsh? Would men still be men, and women be able to express all aspects of themselves?
Trouble and strife provide necessary catalyst for growth, look at any plant weathering the elements. It competes for resources and space, animals can eat it, bugs can attack. Are we so smart now that we can devise methods to eliminate all growth-spurring elements from our environments and turn the entire planet into a park? (England has already accomplished this as a country).

Yeah, I know there are still places on this orb where there are landmines and bombs falling but when that ends and it's cleaned up us peacemongers are movin' in. What then? Good question. We're going to be hard pressed to sell this place to any visiting alien cultures looking for a little excitement. Maybe they'll just carry on to the Deltak system. Word is there's trouble there.

Feckless

David Markrof April 12, 2018

I am irresponsible, a train wreck in the making. I am ego.
I can't be bothered to do the right thing, but can always be counted on to do the wrong thing.
'Me first' is my motto, and to hell with everybody else.
Wherever I go, I bring trouble, and wherever I've been, I've left sorrow behind.
Where I go next is up to me. Always up to me, for I turn on a dime and spin on a whim.
You won't see me coming but you'll know when I'm here!
I can't be bothered- but I will bother you.
Many people call me names. Let 'em.
Where would you be without me? All peaceful and whatnot. That's why I'm here. I'm here to stir things up, upset the apple cart, and strew wreckage all around. Like it or not, I'm here.
And I won't stay to clean up the mess.
You can count on that.

Where I go next is unpredictable, and known only to me, for I do not foreshadow my arrival.
There are many renditions of me, and I hate them all. Competitors!
Time is my enemy. I'm never at rest. Can I steal some of yours? I will if I can.
I'm the winner with all the toys at the end, probably some of yours.
Who can stop me for I will stop at nothing.
Shame is not in my dictionary, and I don't follow rules anyway. Rules are for losers.
I'm a winner- I think.
There is no alternative version of reality that I can think of, and I don't think much. I tend to just act. If I can't act, I plot until I can.
I'm a rollin' ball of fear, never at rest. Can I come to your town? I promise I'll be good.
It is getting more and more difficult for me to be me on this planet. Think I'll go elesewhere. But I can't!
Oh well, This is my Armageddon. That's a big word. How sad, The End.
I wonder if there is anything else.
Goodbye.

The illusion of form

David Markrof April 11, 2018

Having taken up drawing again, after a long hiatus of many years, and searching for the next picture to make a drawing of, I have noticed that there are a lot of things I DON'T want to take on as subjects d'arte. Most people are pretty ordinary. Their faces are not striking, memorable, defined, or different. So from an art perspective not that interesting. Celebrity portraits are a dime a dozen, and not only has it been done, it has been done many, many times before. So I'm looking around at this and that, seeing if anything catches my eye, and I notice something.

Most of the art we see, the paintings, the photographs, the drawings, the logos, the (staged) magazine covers, the good-looking actors in the movies, and especially the supermodels, are caricatures, what we want to see as the ideal man or woman. Since their faces and body types seem to fit the idea of the perfect human form closer than the body you inhabit or the face you were born with, they get the roles and you don't (unless you're a character actor, of course).
So we're always presented, everywhere we look, with stylized versions of the human form and hardly ever with the baseline human form. Why is that? I think it is because we all want to embody the ideal form and represenatives of it are role-modeling that possibility for us, which points to a basic human limitation. We- most of us- cannot actually be those ideal forms, no mattter how much we diet, work out, put on makeup, cut our hair, or adorn our forms with the latest fashions. So we're stuck. Boo-hoo.

But what ARE we, really? We're that which is behind all forms, for the forms we inhabit don't last. They might peak for awhile in our twenties, but, well, you know. Age happens, followed by, well, you know.....
Taking that further, what/where/who IS that spark that animates these forms, that which is called 'I' when in form, and 'soul' when 'I' is not contained? Correct! It's form-LESS! Like water, maybe, it simply takes the shape of whatever container you want to place it in, but it is not the container and never will be. That is amazing, that is what we truly are, and that is also kind of freaky if you think about it but.... this has always been the case, hasn't it? We're just wearing these illusory forms for awhile.

What side of the fence am I on?

David Markrof April 10, 2018

Am I a shlub, an ordinary Joe, animalistic in nature, ruled by coarse desires, unrefined, driven by impulses, non-reflecting, greedy, needy, all of the above? Or am I magnificent in nature, refined, able, clean and clear, pure, above it all, past that, overdue for better, more, and greater things?
And what of my fellowmen? Are they either/or but not in the middle for the middle ground seems to be disappearing now. The current trend seems to indicate that you're either gonna be first or you're stuck being last. Who wants to be last? Not me! I don't want to be subjected, but I will not subjugate. I want everybody to be happy, but what IS happiness, for me, you, them?

For a long, long time now, longer than this writer has been (presently) alive, there has been this belief that there IS a middle ground and that we take sides. They call it the 'human condition'. We wrestle with good and evil, they say. The angel on your shoulder, I can't remember if it's on the left one or the right one, doesn't matter, whispers "Do this, not that" into one ear while the devil, that red guy with the pitchfork, sits on the other shoulder and whispers "No, no! Do THIS, not that!" into the other ear and so we're torn. Always, we're torn. Fighting, battling, struggling, because 'it' is there, they say (we have heard, it is written) that we are driven by these two forces, which are very valid and have been confirmed by arcane scientsits, leaders, pundits, so far back in time it HAS to be true.
Is it?

What if we're ALL magnificent, but just don't know it yet? What if it is only distortion that lies between us and our true natures, and that distortion can be cleared up by a little understanding? The source of our beingness is not conflicted so why are we? I shall look into this this day, extensively. See if I can find evidence to the contrary.
Nah. I've got a feeling that that would be a total waste of time. Evil may exist in some people's imaginations, they might be driven by something other than love and compassion, but that's only a temporary distortion, driven by fear. Ego rules the roost in those minds but egos don't really exist. Look it up, it's described in exquisite detail in your Course In Miracles there. What an ego knows of as 'self' is only an idea, and held up to the light of logic that idea dissipates, like a fleeting thought or a passing cloud.

Ain't a day goes by......

David Markrof April 9, 2018

.....when somebody does something that pushes my buttons and I react to it.
Now, I TRY to be zen and act with equanimity, I try to model Byron Katie's work and Love What Is, I try to go with the flow but.... nope, off I go, REACTING. And then aftewards, when the situation has eased, I might just reflect.
My job can be a pressure cooker sometimes, and traffic might give cause, there might be something I heard about, read on the news, or saw on TV, it might be a car issue, or something to do with the weather, it might be an issue with a coworker, it might be my schedule, there are lots of ways to get triggered is what I'm saying but after all these years and all this practice you would think I could maintain an even keel throughout the day and never have my boat rocked in the slightest.

It seems so easy, in theory. I've read all the books, I'ver practiced and practiced and have gone through long periods where I have been merely observing and feeling great but then.... ...something comes up. This something shows me something about myself, in that I have a ways to go because until you stop reacting to things you're not THERE, is my understanding.
Percentage-wise, I'm doing great in the no-upset batting category, my stats are healthy, but I always think I can do better and guess what- circumstances arise that give me that opportunity! Thank you for showing me where work still needs to be done! Thank you, coworkers! Thank you, customers! Thank you, the guy that came up tight while I was peacefully cruising along, all zen like, on the two lane airport access road after work last night, for showing me that I still have to ask the question "What would Jesus do, if he was tailgated?". Thank you!

Yeah, I get upset at times, who doesn't? To totally drop my reactionary state all it takes is a little bit of focus, anybody can do it, and a good model for that is a spiritual teacher called Mooji, you can check him out here:

Just looking at his picture brings me to a state of inner peace that wasn't there just seconds ago. Amazing!

What Mooji has to say might be a little in the way of deep water for surface dwellers but I will say this. If you practice being non-reactive to events, what occurs (certainly what has occurred for me) is that your reaction time becomes less. For example, whereas I used to spend days in some sort of discombobulated (I like that long word, I think it means 'rocked') state, over time my reaction to things has steadily become much, much less. From days to less than a day, to a half a day, to an hour, less than ten minutes, and lately I usually drop issues in even less time than that.

Maybe I will never get to 100% non-reactivity, but spending less time affected by events feels great. A purposely-generated short attention span! All you have to do to regain inner peace is stop focusing on whatever is agitating you and focus on what is always there, has always been there, and, from all indications, will always be there. The unchangeable, pristine state of awareness. Oh, I'm getting wordy here. You'll figure it out. Not like this is hidden or anything, impossible to attain, or requires onerous study. It's simple. Practicing it is all it takes.

The Griswolds

David Markrof April 8, 2018

Sooooo many families on the bus yesterday, and sooo little time to interview them. Ships passing in the night, we are. These families seem cookie-cutter normal but I know that there is a whole lot more under the surface. On they come one after another after another, from who knows where. They've all chosen to spend some time on our little island and had I the time, I'd like to know a little more about them. "Where are you folks from"?" I'd ask, and off we'd go.

"Oh, St. Louis! I've been there once. And what do you do?" Oh- he's IR manager for Missouri Healthcare Systems and you're..... a physical therapist at Humana West!
Indeed. And who are the little ones here? Traci and Josh. How cute. Five and three, you say? How long have you lived in St Louis? Only a few years! Where did you live before? In California! Where? I'm familiar with Cali. In Santa Barbara? Oh, I meant northern Cal. Not so familiar with the southern part. Is Santa Barbara where you are originally from? You say you were born there but Mr. Griswold was born in Tasmania. His parents moved to New Guinea when he was a teen, uh huh, they were in the military.... ..that would explain your husband's tribal tatoo. Then, after serving with the Australian secret service, your husband's father was transferred.......
(Mrs. Griswold interrupts, adds some further information)

....oh, I see. His father had adopted a pagan religion after his time in Guinea and had no interest in so-called 'modern' medicine. Mr. Griswold-Peter-you say, had to study in secret and keep his medical journals stashed under the bed? And you, -Ann- is it? You were able to pursue your medical interests unhindered? How interesting! You actually had no desire to be a therapist, you were busy running the Eastside car wash/espresso bar and injured yourself, slipping near a pylon at wash bay six? It was that incident that brought you to physical therapy, and once there you discovered that hospitals were your real calling. You found that you bonded with the disabled and had a knack for.......
Oh! We're here. Enjoy your vacation!
Next!"

Ageless

David Markrof April 7, 2018

I never had kids but, looking around the airport, especially on Saturdays, it appears that that hasn't affected the rest of the population from ensuring that there isn't a shortage of progeny. People having a lone child is rare, I have noticed, while people having two kids is less common than people having three. Four (or more) is a bit much, but there are volunteers for that.
And so, as I have journeyed through life, I have done so without having the perspective that parents have, that of being a father (or mother, if you're a woman), then a grandfather or even a great grandfather.
NOBODY looks up to me as their elder, in the way that kids do. Nodody ever calls me 'dad' or 'grampa', and if they do, they do so by mistake.
Neither do I have the perspective of a father, that perspective being that this one or that one is more important than the rest because this one or that one is 'my blood'.

Some would say that I have missed out, or that I don't know what it's like to be a parent but yes, I do know what it is like to be a parent because by not having children I became by default sort of a parent of the world. I certainly complain about the 'kids' behavior and clean up after them, try to teach them manners, and give them advice if they should ever ask for it. I suffer their indignities and celebrate their triumphs wherever they are because in a spiritual sense they're all me and I they but hey if that's too deep for ya......
What I haven't been is micro-concerned with this one or that one, seeing them as 'my tribe', being involved in their upbringing, being that one single influence that shapes their world to a frightening degree.
"Dad?"
"Wha..?" Who you talkin' to?!"

I miss out on Father's Day every single year and don't have my siblings gathering 'round me (and possibly 'mom') at Chirstmas time. I don't celebrate birthdays, graduations, go to weddings to give away the bride, or stand tall alongside the groom. You'll NEVER hear me crowing about my grandkids. So MUCH I have not experienced and I LOVE it! Absolutely love it. I've never changed a diaper in my life or bailed one of my kids out of jail or wondered where they were as the clock struck 2:30 am..
Through all this non-involvement, I have been able to stay perpetually a kid myself. I have never had to grow up and shoulder parental responsibilites, though I have had to shoulder personal responsibilities aplenty.
Not being a parent has given me a lot of time to spend on my personal stuff, which I have examined in great detail. I have also been privileged to observe the human race, the human drama, from an outsider's perspective and this has given me, through my distancing, the curious quality of being unable to take sides. I have enjoyed my relatively quiet single (then later, coupled) life just as much as the ferociously multi-tasking parents have enjoyed being involved in their kids' lives. I am in my place and they are in theirs. It's all good!

In a most undramatic fashion

David Markrof April 6, 2018

Rain has been falling overnight, a gentle, soft, steady rain, nuturing the ground and the plants that grow in it. The extra water gathers in streams which feed into rivers, those rivers running towards the sea. Next to the streams and the rivers is the highway with the cars and trucks, they made of steel, plastic, and rubber, and running mostly on gas or diesel, some on electricity. The highway winds through the town and all the buildings there, and that is where most of the people gather to work, shop, and perhaps play some. The people in the city see the rain as a bother, mainly, and complain about it, cover themselves against it, and wish it would stop.

No wind accompanies this rain so it feels rather muggy, and that too is necessary for the plants, so the water can absorb into the ground, but the impatient people want the wind to pick up and blow the clouds away and for the sun to return, which makes them happier than the gray skies they're witnessing and the dismal interiors of the buildings they frequent which now need extra artificial light.
Were humans able to control the weather there would be less rainy days like this one. The rain would always fall at night and NEVER on a weekend. The wind would never blow hard enough to sweep things away, and the sun would never bake. Everything would be just right. But the rain is smarter than the people and knows that to keep this terrarium called earth functioning correctly episodes of wind, rain, sun, (and even occasional fire) are necessary.
So, drip away, rainy day! I'm okay with mud on my shoes.