The judge passed down the sentence. "A million years to live!".
I was crushed, and led away from the courtrom sobbing.
Once I was back home, I wailed and railed at the injustice of it. "Why me? Why me?!" I pleaded, looking skyward, but no answer came. Over the days, weeks, and months to come, I sank into depression.
"What am I going to do with all of this time?" I wondered aloud, while pacing a groove in my living room floor, during moments of lucidity.
Eventually, inactivity and anger gave way to boredom. I was forced to act. I was not limited by money, the judge had seen to it that the state would provide me with modest means throughout the sentence period. If I wanted any more than that I would have to earn it for myself.
Serge Kutuzov- Unsplash.com
I searched for fun things to do first, of course, but as time dragged on, as it does, I turned to more time consuming things. I took up scrimshaw carving, stacked millions of dominos then watched them fall, and did puzzles that had thousands of similar-looking pieces. I went door to door and volunteered to remodel people's houses, then spent hours upon hours at hardware stores matching paint colors and searching for plumbing parts. I started a car detailing business, and after that opened a piano learners school, but still so much time remained.
Over thousands of years I became adept at many, many things and outlived hundreds of wives. My children came and went, then their childrens' children. I saw them grow, age, and then die. I, however, stayed stubbornly twenty-two. What a curse! What a curse this was!
Around my hundred thousandth year, I became desperate and again tried suicide to relieve me of my pain. But, as had been hammered home to me many times before, I was unable to do so. Somehow the judge had seen to that, I did not know how they did it, and here by this time I thought I knew everything.
Jon Grogan- Unsplash.com
Societies rose and fell, I watched them and took what enjoyment I could from each and every one but whatever enjoyment I had was only fleeting, and STILL time remained.
I don't know how I survived it, but after going though the seemingly interminable passge of hundreds of thousands of years, the day came when I was to be released. Funny, it came faster than expected, who would have thunk it? Anyway, the great, great, ........etc. grandson of the original judge that sentenced me summoned me to appear and I made my way to the great court building where I had been so burdened those many years before, only this time I was there to be freed. Freed! After sooooo many, many years! (and if that sentence seems too much, it is)
Standing before the judge, I trembled with anticipation as he called for silence before he spoke. There were others witnessing, and I was being made an example of.
"Young man" he began, "you have endured a lengthly sentence for a horrible crime that you can't even remember committing. But the halls of justice forget not. You have paid back your dues to society and are once again to be free, to live a normal life of seventy-odd years. However, before I free you, I would like to ask you: Have you LEARNED anything?"
"Yes, your honor" I replied. "I have. Many, many things. Uncountable numbers of things"
"And how has that worked for you?" he queried further.
"I feel I have become a much more rounded individual"
"In what ways?"
"I have become more tolerant of others, for one thing"
"Good. Go on"
"I have also become more patient, kind, loving, compassionate, understanding..."
"I get it, you don't have to ramble"
"No you don't! I HATE what I have become! I can't be a normal person anymore! I, I, CARE too much, yet at the same time, I could care less!"
"Is that a problem?"
"I can't make whatever it is that I've become leave my mind, I can't make it go away. I'm different from everybody around me. I... I.... I'm content"
"No greed, avarice, jealousy, lust, hunger, drive, motivation, searching, yearning, questing, or desiring anymore"?"
"None of that"
"Ok, you're free to go"
"But wait! Who is going to take care of me now? I have no money! I made fortunes but spent them all. What I have with me is just the clothes I'm wearing. I gambled everything away last minute, just in case you thought having money might mean I'm not reformed".
"Are you?"
"YES! Let me out of this raw deal! Please (your honor, sir, O Grand Wizard, your eminence.....)!"
"Okay, okay. Don't worry about money, I've got a twenty for you, courtesy of the state. That'll get you supper for tonight then after that I'm confident that you'll figure it out, since you have before. But before you go back out into the world to live a normal life, one thing"
"Yes?"
"Come closer, approach the bench. I don't want this overheard by the others"
I made my way close. Once there, the judge leaned over and whispered into my ear. "Tell others about your experiences"
"Wha? Huh? Uh, ok"
"Tell them everything! Whoever asks. And leave out not the tiniest detail, because just between you and me, they've been sentenced to a million years too! They just don't know it! Maybe you can make their sentences shorter. They think this life is the only one but oh no, they'll be back again and again and again until they get to the place where you are, where it just doesn't matter. You call that contentment, I call that graduation. Graduation means I (or my bretheren) won't see you around here anymore. Well done, son!"
"Thanks, uhm, 'God'. Can I call you that?"
"Mmmm no, I'd prefer you didn't. Too many strange connotations"
"Ok, my bad. Guess I'll be going then" I turned to leave the courtroom. Looking back, the judge seemed totally unconcerned as to my further welfare. His attention was on the full courtroom and the next case, who was with his lawyer waiting before the witness stand.
Outside the courtroom was the cleanest, freshest air I'd felt in a thousand years. A passerby noticed a spring in my step and the huge smile on my face. He queried me as to what was making me feel so good, for he wanted some of that feeling too.
"Don't frickin worry about it!" I told him. He jumped back a bit, startled by my outburst. "It's all good!" I crowed.
"Come again?" He managed to utter. "I don't understand..."
"Whatever happens, you'll have enough (more than enough!) time to figure it out. Don't worry about ANYTHING".
"Gee, uh... thanks- I guess.".
"Time, my friend, is on YOUR side, not the other way around!" I said as I skipped away, which I hadn't done for tens of thousands of years. I knew that whatever came up in the future, he would figure it out, just like I'd done. There was noooo hurry. Then after that there would be no hurry either-
Only BEING.