I never had kids but, looking around the airport, especially on Saturdays, it appears that that hasn't affected the rest of the population from ensuring that there isn't a shortage of progeny. People having a lone child is rare, I have noticed, while people having two kids is less common than people having three. Four (or more) is a bit much, but there are volunteers for that.
And so, as I have journeyed through life, I have done so without having the perspective that parents have, that of being a father (or mother, if you're a woman), then a grandfather or even a great grandfather.
NOBODY looks up to me as their elder, in the way that kids do. Nodody ever calls me 'dad' or 'grampa', and if they do, they do so by mistake.
Neither do I have the perspective of a father, that perspective being that this one or that one is more important than the rest because this one or that one is 'my blood'.
Toia Montes De Oca- Unsplash.com
Some would say that I have missed out, or that I don't know what it's like to be a parent but yes, I do know what it is like to be a parent because by not having children I became by default sort of a parent of the world. I certainly complain about the 'kids' behavior and clean up after them, try to teach them manners, and give them advice if they should ever ask for it. I suffer their indignities and celebrate their triumphs wherever they are because in a spiritual sense they're all me and I they but hey if that's too deep for ya......
What I haven't been is micro-concerned with this one or that one, seeing them as 'my tribe', being involved in their upbringing, being that one single influence that shapes their world to a frightening degree.
"Dad?"
"Wha..?" Who you talkin' to?!"
Patrick Perkins- Unsplash.com
I miss out on Father's Day every single year and don't have my siblings gathering 'round me (and possibly 'mom') at Chirstmas time. I don't celebrate birthdays, graduations, go to weddings to give away the bride, or stand tall alongside the groom. You'll NEVER hear me crowing about my grandkids. So MUCH I have not experienced and I LOVE it! Absolutely love it. I've never changed a diaper in my life or bailed one of my kids out of jail or wondered where they were as the clock struck 2:30 am..
Through all this non-involvement, I have been able to stay perpetually a kid myself. I have never had to grow up and shoulder parental responsibilites, though I have had to shoulder personal responsibilities aplenty.
Not being a parent has given me a lot of time to spend on my personal stuff, which I have examined in great detail. I have also been privileged to observe the human race, the human drama, from an outsider's perspective and this has given me, through my distancing, the curious quality of being unable to take sides. I have enjoyed my relatively quiet single (then later, coupled) life just as much as the ferociously multi-tasking parents have enjoyed being involved in their kids' lives. I am in my place and they are in theirs. It's all good!