It's not every day that something you order online comes walking up to your door and rings the doorbell but my Shiyonin ST 3000 arrived that way. My new A.I. personal assistant robot.
I paid a hefty price for this model, and even though another one was currently under development and was rumored to be imminently released, I couldn't wait. I just had to have one right now. Worth the steep price, my personal assistant owning friends said.
And right they were! Moments after my robot arrived I put it to work and it didn't mind at all. The first thing I had it do was wash all the dishes. It performed admirably at that task. Next, I had my robot, which I named Burt, drive down to the bakery and get me a couple of stick donuts 'cuz I was Jones'n for 'em. In no time Burt was back, with a package of just- glazed and still-warm stick donuts in hand.
"Hmm...."
There was an outside storage closet needing to be painted, I got Burt on that soon after, and he did a good enough job. There were a few nooks and crannies that he didn't paint so well but heck, I was more than happy to do a little touch up rather than a full fledged painting job.
The grass was needing to be mowed and there was trimming work to do. Could Burt do that?
YES! To see him pushing my lawnmower made me feel like a king, and of course all the neighbors were jealous and wanted to borrow Burt right away, but hey! I still had tasks for him to do and I didn't want him depleting his batteries doing work on other people's property, no matter how much they begged or were willing to pay me. Far as I was concerned, Burt was worth his weight in gold.
So I kept him close. Auntie down the way I loaned Burt to for a day, so she could, being elderly and all, get some errands run, and over to Uncle's house he went for a spell, Unc just back from surgery and needing help, but after that quick back to my house he was, where I kind of kept him under wraps. Jeez was he ever popular!
When Burt finished a task I had him programmed to come into the living room and stand at attention at first, but him just standing there when I didn't have another chore started to freak me out a bit so I had him sit in a chair, almost out of sight at the kitchen table, and act like he was meditating. Soon as I called his name, Burt's eyes would open (he has 'eyes') and he would instantly rise, ready to perform another task. Burt was tireless.
I'd love you to pay my insurance bill!
Alex Knight- Unsplash.com
Only after a couple weeks of intensive Honey Do projects was I finally able to settle Burt into a routine of sorts, and most tasks he's pretty darn good at. I owe this to the Shoghuin Corporation over in Japan, they did most of the development work. Burt has amazing sensors, delicate manual dexterity, and a power pack like a damn John Deere tractor. You wouldn't want to arm wrestle Burt, though. I tried once.
And that's the way things went for a while and now here I am, a couple of months in, finally living the life I've always dreamed possible because not only has Burt taken care of my day to day chores, I have also programmed Burt to do a regular job! It took a little tweaking here and there, I had to upgrade (I sent Burt back to Japan for some cosmetic work) but his boss loves him. Burt's never late, works right up to quitting time, and doesn't even need a break. "Lunch' he gets by plugging his power pack into a wall for a thirty minute charge.
And the most amazing thing of all? Burt was upgraded to look and act just like me! My old boss and co-workers don't suspect a thing, but they are weirded out by my standing stock still next to the water cooler for thirty minutes once a day. I tell them I've changed, I'm on a serious mental discipline/Navy Seal type posture training program, and they're buying it. I hope to get away with this until the backup power pack I purchased arrives in about a week or so.
The way things are goin', I'm going to get me another Burt. Or maybe two more. These things aren't cheap but man, I'll tell you, the sky's the limit. This is the technology you want to get in on the ground floor with because if I'm doin' it......
......(whispered) others are too.