Around mid-shift, after a particularly obnoxious group had passed through, one passenger lingered because she had something to say. She waited until the others, hurrying, were out of earshot, then looked me right in the eye and gasped "I can't believe the lack of gratitude! Do people treat you like this every day?"
"Yes. I get this on a daily basis" I sighed, an authentic edge of weariness in my voice.
"People just don't appreciate blue collar workers! I could tell from watching you that you really don't like your job"
"I hate it! But it's only going to last a few more months"
She, older, wiry, and strong, reached for my hand and gave me a firm handshake. "I'm an ex UPS driver, and my partner over there worked at UPS too. We know what it's like. You hang in there, Dave!”
"I will. Thanks for acknowledging me" I said as they left, not knowing if they heard that last line.
There's people in the world that know, and there's people in the world that don't. The ones that know, that have been there, might not ever let me know that they know. They might just observe and then leave the scene. But others that know might give me a telling look, a glance, met, that indicates that they have been there too. A pat on the shoulder. A genuine thank you. They might engage me in light conversation. But rare is it that I'll have a full on 'encounter' because acknowledging the fact that the public as a whole is generally a rude and insensitive mob isn't exactly something that those in the know want to bring up, probably for the same reasons that veterans don't want to talk about their time on the battlefield.
If you see these guys coming, it’s time to run.
Adam Whitlock- Unsplash.com
Those of us that have worked with the public, we're different. I can read faces pretty good and I can just tell, when I watch workers dealing with the public, by the way they are talking or gesturing, if they've been at it for a while. I can almost tell what thoughts are running through their minds for I have been in the breakrooms and I've heard the stories. All of us in customer service have had highly individualistic encounters with the public and while the particulars vary, the encounters themselves run kinda the same. The gist of it is that members of the public wear on us with their attitudes and unrealistic demands and think nothing of it.
We weather their insensitivity because we have to get the job done, whatever our function is, which calls for focus and though it may seem like we aren't doing a lot sometimes we're still on the job. We have to be ever present. The public knows we're duty bound to be approachable so they think nothing of asking us a question, or hitting us up for a little one on one working through an issue that should have been handled beforehand, or a host of other things that are like 'favors' being asked of us, not realizing that the cumulative affect of this takes a toll.
Well, we think that the public does realize that it takes a toll on us but the public does what it does anyway, because we're there and because they can.
It's amazing to witness this from the inside, from the front lines, because only there do you realize the full extent of the sense of entitlement that customers imagine they are granted just because they're buying or paying for something. Instantly at the counter or over the span of a flight away from home people can go from nobodies to playing King or Queen For A Day (or a week). They think nothing of lording over others, which is something we in customer service find alarming. It's a good thing that these people aren't given any more power than just the little bit they are granted, because their tendency to abuse power seems to be unbounded.
So- when that ex-UPS lady firmly shook my hand, she infused caring into the situation, something she knew I would absorb like a sponge because I had been walking in the dry and barren desert that the public offers up, a dusty, cruel, harsh land completely devoid of any nourishment. She brought me back to life and became my instant soul sistah. I didn't need to know what she had gone through to get the understanding, the fact that she understood to the degree she did told me everything I would ever need to know. Her suffering had been similar, yet different than mine. But I knew that she had come out of it on the other side.
Through being on the front lines she had developed compassion, tolerance, and patience. She hadn't broken, she hadn't become one of the numberless rude members of the public, spewing forth her impatience, disdain, petulance, and all the rest. No, she had risen above it, like I have, and despite the actions of the public has become a better person. I know she's gonna do well wherever she goes, and I know she thinks the same of me because she saw in me that even though I didn't like my job, I still treated the people with kindness, though with kindness the people treated me not.
That's big. That's huge. If you've learned that lesson, you have arrived. That lady knew the value that both of us could bring to the world through having the understanding.
It takes one to know one.