I dispatched Carlos, on his E-bike, to make rounds for me within the city. As he zoomed away I breathed a great sigh of relief. A time window had opened on my day that I was now at the luxury of filling.
Meanwhile, Carlos was standing in line at the post office acting as my agent, telling the person at the counter that some mail meant for another had been mistakenly and consistently stuffed in my P.O. Box. That rectified, he zoomed over to the local bakery and scored some stick donuts for me to enjoy later before the bakery sold out.
On and on he went and the fee I paid him for his weekly services more than made up for the contentment his services brought me, the luxury of time.
Processes that we grumble about that consume great quantities of the precious commodity we call time are what we call work, road construction, or airline travel, while processes that consume less of that time we call commuting, shopping, or cooking.
Watching TV and perusing the internet can be said to be activities where time 'stops' (commonly called 'quality time'), for in doing these activities immersion occurs and the passage of time is hardly noticed.
Ditto sitting on the beach, participating in sports, or eating a meal in a restaurant.
Thus, when Carlos takes on my 'bad time' tasks, I am able to experience 'good time' activities in their place. Nothing wrong with that. Anybody that can afford this would do it.
Is there a cure for 'bad time' activities? None that are known by humankind. Errands are errands, chores are chores, work is work, and a whole industry has developed to make the intolerable tolerable. Neck pillows for travelers. Satellite radio for commuters. Spas for the overworked. Sports bars to counteract non-exuberant workplaces. Take-out for the weary, etc. Toxin/antidote. No time/time saver. Un-fun/fun.
Pain/pleasure is the standard human response to things within our environment. We avoid or lessen pain, seek out and try to increase pleasure. Yes/No. Attracted/Repelled. Approach/Retreat.
The so-called 'masters' at the game of life (most of us witness this in one way or another, through TV, film, or videos) gravitate always towards pleasure and seek to reach the place where pleasure is continuously experienced. Full immersion. Heaven. Bliss. Nirvana.
(I like the word Nirvana 'cuz it sounds like Nir-van-AHH.....)
But really, could anybody actually experience a constant state of bliss? After a while, the high would seem to be a vague thing, for how could you measure how high you were? Contrast provides the answer. The shadow side must exist and we must know of it, in order to determine whether we are experiencing 'pleasure' or 'pain', for without the ability to identify any difference we would only experience sensation. Without contrast we would simply feel. That's all we would know. That's all babies know.
You might say that that is hogwash, that there is a huge difference between pleasure and pain, that 'pleasure' (eating exquisite food) and 'pain' (hand on a hot stove) are self-evident things not requiring thought. They are built-in, instinctual reactions to stimulus. "Yum!" is obviously pleasure, while "Ouch!" is obviously pain. But is this so? Animals may be observed to be experiencing either state but are they defining those states, differentiating between the two? Probably not. To an animal, things just are. Separating sensations can only come through thought, through reason, where it is determined that there are such things as 'good' and 'bad'. Judgement has entered the picture. There is that which we think serves us, and that which we think is to our detriment.
The intrepid Carlos pauses on his rounds.
Josh Appel- Unsplash.com
Only humans reason, and through thought, decide whether something should be or shouldn't be (is 'good' or 'bad'). In essence, we are arguing all the time with what is and if anything can be done about it and that is why I can't stand to run errands but Carlos is more than happy to do them for me. He has no judgement about them.
That's also why the crippled man is happier than the healthy one sometimes, and the grimy peasant smiles while the wealthy layabout scowls, and so on. Judgement colors most people's perceptions, and most people have adopted their perceptions, their worldview, through conditioning. Conditioning that has been brought about by the unique environmental exposures they have experienced. Conditioning that very well may have been relentlessly thrust upon them until they adopted it entirely, or assimilated it to a degree deemed 'acceptable' by their peers or society.
This may be unfortunate but it is what is. Ultimately, to know who we are, we must overcome this conditioning in order to view the world through unconditioned eyes. This responsibilty is thrust upon us and can't be relieved by any exterior force. Drugs, sleep, and distractions can remove this responsibility from us, but only temporarily. Dissociation from reality can be a longer term coping strategy, anger another, depression a third, but still the responsibility remains. We're born with it and it will dog us throughout our lives, and into the next one(s).
So why not deal with it now? Not in a desperately ambitious "I'm going to solve this once and for all!" way (which may bring about the inner peace of 'enlightenment'), this approach working for a few but seeming to be highly arduous and destabilizing for the majority, but in a slow way, a measured way, a determined way, a methodical and patient way?
One could start by assuming that they know nothing, that they don't actually know (you can pretend here) why they're having a reaction to this/that/whatever and explore their thoughts about it. "Something is occurring and I'm having thoughts about it. Why?" you can ask yourself. Little stuff, to begin with. "Who ever said?" is a question you can ask about conclusions that others have reached.
It is in this questioning that you can find out how you feel about things, how you can separate your thoughts from the mass consciousness, at least for a while, if doing so for a longer time makes you feel uncomfortable. Because deep inside you know that when you do this you're stepping, even if it is just one toe's length away, from the comfort of the conditioned herd. But you also know deep inside that you have to do this, and do it consistently, because until you do you won't know who you really are and what your true thoughts are about whatever is occurring. You won't know if for you something is 'good' or 'bad'.
As to this pertaining to myself, I don't know if I'll ever come to the place where I don't have judgement about running errands and 'wasting time'. Perhaps Carlos knows something I don't? It could be that my 'wasting time' issues, my "Why am I doing this instead of that?” issues are actually much, much deeper than I think, they having to do with greater things called purpose, reason for being, why did God create me anyway, the egoic need to feel special, fears of inadequacy, abandonment issues, and who knows what else. Obviously, I have a great deal of judgement about where I am placed and what I am doing. Somewhere, somewhen, conditioning took hold.
That's okay, though. I'm looking at these issues, at least. Questioning them. I might not get all the answers in this lifetime but until then...
….you guessed it….
....I got Carlos running errands for me.