I caught word that there were such things as Fulfillment Centers so I set out to find one. It was not what I anticipated. When I came upon one, it looked like a giant warehouse and was located in an industrial park. The people walking towards and away from it hardly looked fulfilled.
"Where can I find fulfilllment?" I asked the guard at the Fulfillment Center's security gate, long as I was there.
He looked at me like I was slightly off and in need of help. "Try about two miles down the street. I think you might find fulfillment there" he offered.
So down the street I went where I came across a church. I went inside but nobody was there. Exiting, I came upon a man outside.
"I'm looking for fulfillment. Can you help me?"
"Sure" he said. "I've got Oxy, I've got heroin, I've got meth....."
"Drugs?! Are you crazy?" cried I alarmed, while backing away.
"You said you were lookin'" he shrugged before waving me off. "Just tryin' to he'p ya, bro!"
An ad in an employment office's window I passed somewhat later caught my eye. "Fulfilling careers. Now hiring!" it read.
"Sounds good!" I thought, and entered therein.
"I'm looking for fulfillment" I said to a man sitting at a desk.
"Welcome. Have a seat, I'll be right with you. Got to make a call" He dialed someone and started talking. He was very busy during the call, multitasking with papers on his desk, a computer, a scheduling board behind him, sipping coffee, and even taking a bite out of a doughnut here and there. The call concluded after about ten minutes. He set the phone down, took a long slurp of Joe, then without even asking me my name or interviewing me said "I think I can help you. Are you available weekends, holidays, nights, swing shift, split shift, and basically any other time we might need you?"
"If that will bring me fulfillment, I guess I'll do it....."
"Ok then! See you 7:00 p.m. sharp, Saturday night! Go to this address!" He scribbled an address on a piece of paper and gave it to me, then sort of rushed me out the door, saying he had a ton of other calls to make.
Boy was that ever a scam. I spent Saturday night feeling very unfulfilled. He lied!
“How about overnights? Can you work those?”
rawpixel- Unsplash.com
The next morning, I sat around my house and with nothing else to do, I turned on the TV. Sports fans seemed to be fulfilled so I went to the nearest stadium. There was a game there this afternoon.
"Rah Rah Rah! Go team!" I shouted with the rest and while it felt fulfilling, it didn't last. I left the stadium rather let down but after having had a taste of the elixir, I was motivated to find more.
A flyer caught my eye in the local coffee shop, where I'd stopped in to see if they had any almond poppyseed muffins with which to sate my hunger. A guru promised fulfillment at a workshop that night.
"Yeah! Just what I want!" I crowed. "I'll be there!"
At around seven o'clock I made my way over to the venue where this guru gave weekly talks. I entered a hushed workshop space, and found a cushion to sit on. Many others were present.
But the guru wasn't there yet. After what seemed like a long wait, he entered and sat down in a chair in front of us, that chair sitting on a little stage so we could all see him.
"If anybody is here looking for fulfillment I can't help you" was the very first thing he said.
"What?!" I thought. "How..... ...can you say that! I paid good money!"
"Fulfillment is never found outside of the self. It can only be found within" he said, after which he started to ramble on about this and that and occasionally giggle. None of what he was saying was making any sense.
This guy was a charlatan and playing us for fools! I was in no mood for this gobbledy gook psychological trickery. I wanted fulfillment now. I rose from my cushion and tried not to step on anybody as I hurriedly left.
Outside, a brochure for retirement caught my eye, the wind had blown it down the street from somewhere. Upon the front cover of the brochure a man was lying in a hammock, on a beach, with a drink in his hand, calmly gazing at the setting sun. He looked very fulfilled.
I had some time off coming up so after a few more irritating weeks I made my way to a warm sunny beach in Mexico and got myself into a hammock and ordered a drink from the resort's bar and timed it so I would be gazing at the setting sun, just like the guy in the brochure.
Man did I ever get bored after awhile! This was not fulfilling!
"Arrggh!"
Off I stormed, to wherever, determined to find fulfillment. Months passed by, where I tried this and that, and then finally I gave up. "Fulfillment is impossible!” I yelled, to whoever would listen or care, but since I happened to be out in a shady park somewhat away from people at the time I yelled this, the only ones who could hear me were a elderly couple with some kids at a distant playground and a young couple throwing a frisbee back and forth. The elderly couple nervously gathered their grandkids together and started walking away to give me a lot more space.
"You rang?" came a voice from above, or somewhere close. I was startled.
"Who are you? Where are you? Why are you talking to me?"
A misty white shape formed in front of me, but stopped short of making itself clearly definable. I could make out the guise of a very old man. "I am the god of fulfillment" the apparition said. "Here to satisfy your desire"
“Finally! Ok, god of fulfillment. Lay it on me!"
"Here goes! You might not like it....."
I blew off his cautionary words and stood there, with eyes closed, waiting for something grand to happen. The eyes closed thing seemed to be the appropriate stance to take in this situation.
Nothing. I peeked out of one eye. Things still looked the same.
"There. I'm finished. Enjoy!" he said. "Time to get going! I've got to aide a certain Mrs. Appolinia Wharley next, over in East Suffolk Township."
"Hey! Wait a minute! You haven't done 'it' yet" I blurted.
"Yes I have. I've granted you fulfillment"
"I don't feel anything"
"Oh, you won't. That's why I can't charge for my services. Nobody I've helped ever wants to pay"
I sighed. Another joke.
"No, it's no joke" he said, apprending my dismay. "You got the real deal. Gen-u-ine fulfillment. Even if it lasted for only a nanosecond"
"Get outta here!"
"Allright, I am messing with you. I do so because you seem to me a weary fellow, possibly receptive to knowledge, so if I'm right about that, and I usually am, let's get straight to the point. I can't give you something that you already have. You only need to become aware of that 'something'. Fulfillment can only be found when you are at peace with What Is. Otherwise you are at war with What Is. It's black and white like that. Either/Or. Come to peace with What Is and everything settles. Fight with What Is, and the battle continues"
"Oh-kay" I groaned.
"You're not getting it" he sadly shook his head. "But you will- eventually! Everybody does. Bye, gotta go, the number of calls I'm getting today! Sheesh! Must be the holidays again....!"
"Poof!" he vanished.
So I gave what he said a try. I'd up to that point tried everything else, so why not? I looked around the shady park and tried, really tried, to be ok with things as they were for just fifteen seconds. I noticed that when I did so I released a breath of tension, tension that I didn't even realize I'd been holding. It was a start. I felt better.
"Maybe" I thought, "if I can string together a whole buncha of moments like this, I can stay in a state of peace with What Is. Nobody else can do this for me, I have to do it on my own. I don't know if being okay with What Is qualifies as 'fulfillment', but I'll deal with that sticky concept later, if I feel like it".
"'Cuz right now it feels good just feeling good!".