Better Than TV?

Ah, that's been the promise, hasn't it? All these tech companies are delivering where TV fell short. Look at the plethora of offerings. Truly, our cups runneth over. But the tradeoff has been that our privacy has been invaded and continues to be and there's a whole lot of data being gathered. TV never did that. 
TV was just broadcast, and by broadcast I mean it blanketed an area in the hopes that it could capture the largest market possible. TV signals operated close to the radio frequency spectrum and so signals could be blocked by hills, buildings, or what broadcasters referred to as ground clutter- trees, billboards, water towers, anything tall and in the way. 
  But that is no more, and hasn't been since analog went the way of the dinosaur about a decade back. Now the signal travels via cable, fiber optics, satellite, or cell phone towers and nothing gets in its way. 
Right to your device the signal travels and as long as it’s there, why doesn't it snoop around a bit, learn a little more about you, and then send some data back so as to better 'help' you? Bring you precisely targeted goods and services that you might buy, bought in the past, or that you've been thinking about? We know which shows you watch, what music you like to listen to, and which web pages you've been on lately, last week, last month, during the last season. We know how much you earn and what you usually spend your dough on. We know your address, where you've lived in the past, what skills you possess, if you've ever been in trouble, who your friends are, what they do, who you've had relationships with, where you work, what your religious and political affiliations are, what health issues you've had, are facing, or might potentially face because we track your habits. 
Oh, we don't tell you all this because we really don't want you to know and as long as you don't you're unlikely to demand legislation be put into place to curtail us. 'Cuz we just wanna help. 

Even the cash registers track youfancycrave- Unsplash.com

Even the cash registers track you

fancycrave- Unsplash.com

We know everything about you but you know very little about us or where all this data is going to or being stored. Sorry! We're working on transparency but there are sooooo many projects we wanna get a leg up on before 'the competition' does. (this so-called 'competitive playing field' growing ever smaller and more concentrated)
But don't worry. We're really smart people who have things under control, or at least we thought we did but data breaches will happen, we're afraid. It's part of the growing process any company undergoes. We just happen to be working with highly sensitive personal data but hey- back in the day you guys handled radioactivity and didn't think that was a big deal. 
Just sayin'! 

So, as to further help, why not get one of our personal assistants? They'll listen in and should you need anything that they can do, like change the channel on the TV, cue up that movie you've been wanting to watch, answer a question for you, pull up a recipe, tell you what the weather is, how much flights to Vegas are, or a host of other things we've got that- and it's on sale!

Please don't block us or deny us access because we need your location in order to operate and/or communicate 'properly' with many other apps you’ve loaded. We assure you it's all for your own good even if you don't know everything that's going on and if you do, you might not after the next upgrade!
(which is overdue, by the way)

Didja hear about our latest remote entry/monitoring capabilities? We can unlock your front door as you're pulling down the drive, if your kid comes home early from school, if the service guy shows while you're out walking Fido, or if Aunt Paula shows up on her own from the airport when you're at Pilates class. 
If you're far, far away from home, don't worry- and forget about those old school light timers! We can have you monitoring your crib from a multitude of camera positions and turning the lights on and off while you're sunning on the beach in Playa Del Sur.

Bottom line is, you're stuck with us. Without us you can't make a phone call, watch TV, or check up on the news anymore in most places. What once was commonplace, relaxing, and user-friendly doesn't even exist anymore. But don't worry, it's all for the good. Coming up is we're also going to eliminate your needing to go to the bank and drive a car, because we got a better way figured out for those processes. You'll see. Some companies right now are developing nanopills that will relay back to us if you've been taking your meds! 
Chips in your credit cards, Google glasses on your face, bio sensors on your wrists, we want to know everything we can about you, in real time. Like last week, when you lingered for 8.723 minutes on a webpage. What drove you to enact that behavior, when usually you won't linger for more than 2.156 minutes, on average, on any one page? It doesn't fit our algorithm for you. Perhaps somebody else was using your phone that day? 
  We don't like outliers like that, let us tell you, but fortunately it was a one time deal and you quickly reverted back to your predictable pattern. 

One that grows clearer and clearer with each passing day. We've been running DNA test advertisements on certain webpage sidebars lately hoping that you'll bite there but so far you haven't. We would sure let to get our hands on your genetic background, if we can. To assist you, of course.

Again, thanks for sharing! Your data. We know soooo much about you but you know next to nothing about us, who we are, where we're located, or what we're doing with your stuff. Oh well. We sorry!  

If you have any questions, feel free to call our 24/7 tech support number, or we can connect by chat. We won't be able to answer all of your questions but we will try and aid you in any way that we can.

In parting, an FYI for you: 
We've done away with human phone operators and have gone to a full A.I. staff.