My current employ is going to end this year and this is also true for the little gang I work with and so we're all being peppered with questions a lot about what we're going to do next. (But enough about them! We're fellow job seekers now, in competition with each other)
Ideally, I should like to retire to a life where this kind of question troubles and vexes me not but the situation is such that this is not yet possible. Close, but no cigar, as they say.
And it's not like I haven't done this sort of thing before, many, many times, this 're-inventing myself'. However, the older I get, the less career matters to me and the more job satisfaction does. Money is not so big an issue anymore, though money still is welcome, but more important to a seasoned worker like me is that my work environment be suited to my temperament. Like an old dog I am not one to suffer fools gladly, with puppy-esque forbearance, nay, I be snappy with the uncouth and uncultured and perhaps may even growl if I merely sense their approaching energetic signature(s) but are not yet 'blessed' with their physical presence(s).
So, that being stated, here are a few of the answers I give to those presenting the posit "What'r you gonna do?"
"I hear the Chinese are hiring for their new Martian colony. Three year contract. The shifts in the palladium processing factory are long but the pay is fantastic. However, what truly ices the cake is that us workers will enjoy plenty of top end A.I. company, if you know what I mean. I'm thinkin' on that one. Haven't signed anything yet"
"McMurdo Station in Antartica is another possibility. I've been wanting to get away from it all for a long time but the aforementioned Chinese have taken away my A-list destination, a very ancient and remote cave high in the Tibetan Himalayas, which I had hoped to occupy in profound mediation. Antarctica offers me a similar opportunity, a paid one no less, but there I have to share my cave with others. I'm on the fence with that one"
"Moving away from hermitage offerings, I am considering a gig as a New York art dealer. I saw an article in The Times a few days ago where some of the upper crust dealers were partyin' it up as part of the job, you know, that sort of thing being expected. You must roll with the ridiculously moneyed so that you can correctly appraise works they might be inclined to purchase. I would also, in order to fit in, have to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars a month to adorn myself with the latest fashions. While I haven’t laid out that kind of dough before, I have shopped at Savers and clothed myself with high end name brands for years! Waiting on a call there"
"Several news outlets have approached me about being a guest on their shows. They like the fact that I'm highly opinionated and think that I could act as a galvanizing force with their audiences, possibly bringing ratings up into the stratosphere. I have the correct amount of repressed anger and can weave some pretty convincing spin. I've already gone through numerous screen tests and they're liking what they're seeing. The stopper here is that they're thoroughly vetting me beforehand. A couple of people have been assigned to research my past and comb through everything I've ever written in order to see if they can find anything that enemies- contrarians- might use to bring me down. I feel sorry for those researcher guys 'cuz I wrote a lot of stuff. Might take them a year or more"
Been working on this bridge forever.
Peter Usher- Unsplash.com
"Two highly placed people in Hollywood have proposed doing a reality show where I am exposed on a constant basis to five star luxury. They want to set me up in cribs and situations all over the world and film my reactions as I experience things beyond my wildest dreams. They think that this concept show would resonate with a vast blue collar base, I, in effect, becoming the patron saint of worker bees. They could live their lives vicariously through me! I told the Hollywood guys that I considered such a thing absolutely morally reprehensible and would have none of it! They took this as me playing hard to get- and my agent just loves that play! He's reporting back to me daily on how negotiations are progressing on a reconfigured contract"
"Can U believe it?! The Weather Channel wants me to be on their team! They're looking for a long term Storm Guy, you know, the guy that gets placed in the wildest weather situations. Lightning! Hail! Tornados! Cracks of thunder, right overhead! In the path of flying debris! Wading through floodwaters, taking that last breath of clear air before being overcome by a dust storm, slippin' and slidin' for the camera at ice storm ground zeros, and up to his neck in freshly fallen snow- with more coming- that's the job for me. I practiced this one a lot as a kid so I know the ropes"
Now I know all these sound good, and would fit me to a T, but the job I've always wanted still eludes me. The folks in charge of this one haven't responded to my resume yet but I'm gonna hold out for a bit longer and see if they reply.
Warren Beatty said that the best part of being famous was that you got a thing called access, and that's what I want most of all. ACCESS! I want the ropes to part for me and the doors to open everywhere I go. How you qualify for this one I don't exactly know but I do know that when you're in, you're in. Somebody way up declares that you are access-worthy and then it just snowballs from there. I've lit my manifestation candles, am doing woo-woo ceremonies at my altar big time, and am chanting affirmations continuously over this one.
If it takes me a while to get there it'll be worth it 'cuz I want it all. In the meantime I'll most likely be found working at one of those other jobs I listed, or doing something similar. Ya gotta make a livin', right?
I'm okay with suffering until I get my access gig, you know, until I get my real job.