The Great British Bake Off


Is a TV show about baking and thank God it’s set in Britain, the land of impeccable standards. Maybe not in everything, but they do know how to set an example. This show is tailor-made for furthering the education of unpolished wannabe bakers and I've seen many episodes by now.
Apprentice bakers vie for the title of 'Best Baker' in this show. They are tasked with creating all manner of baked goods, many of which I didn't even know existed. They're given the ingredients, the tools, and a set amount of time in which to do this, and none of these apprentice bakers are ordinary people off the street. They are vetted somewhat, I don't know how extensively, but enough so that they can compete with others at a high level of baking skill.

In the spirit of Fall and upcoming Halloween, pumpkin scones.Priscilla Du Perez- Unsplash.com

In the spirit of Fall and upcoming Halloween, pumpkin scones.

Priscilla Du Perez- Unsplash.com


Every measurement they make is foreign to me, they measure in millimeters and liters, grams instead of ounces, they use scales instead of measuring cups a lot of the time, the vernacular is different and the ingredients are mainly the same though in the ingredient department there exist variations of what Americans might know of as 'flour' and 'yeast'  and fillings and icings, etc. But hey, close enough. 
  The camera follows them all through their 'bake' and records their wrestling with and fretting over their creations and then 'Ding!' the timer signals them to stop doing any more work on their bake and for the judges to appear.
One by one the bakers come forward and hand off their bakes to the two judges, or all the bakes are lined up on a table to be blindly tested by the judges. One judge is a guy named Paul who knows how to bake so well he is considered a master baker, and the other is an elderly but spry and witty woman named Mary, who knows what a properly baked item should look like, taste like, crumble like, etc.
Again, thank you Brits for doing this because I too know what a proper scone should taste like and crumble like and the variation I experience in store-bought baked goods is huge. Cornbread should be dry-ish and crumbly, not sweet with bits of orange (?) in it, scones should be super dry and crisp on the outside, never should they be soft inside or out, and biscuits should be hefty, with a crunchy crust and a flaky, buttery interior. Everything should be baked thoroughly- never any “Hello, what’s this?!” undercooked interior portions (or the putting of lemon zest in Almond Poppyseed Muffin batter!).
Same with donuts, pies, cookies, cake, the list goes on. There's a lot to be said for experimentation, it is necessary to expand the boundaries of possible creations that flour, eggs, sugar, butter, salt, yeast, fillings, and toppings can produce. Yea for that. What a happy accident donuts must have been! But- standards are necessary too because without those donuts become scones become biscuits and nary should those definitive lines be crossed. Not on my watch! (or Paul & Mary's either!)
So go ahead, Brits. More episodes please. Show the semi-civilized bakers out there what passes for acceptable. I want to see Mary inspecting the interior of those cinnamon loaves for flaws, and I want Paul giving feedback on crunch. 
Proper good this is, and well done!