Plenty of these going on right now, I have to assume. It's part of the ongoing learning curve. Lots of recipes tell you what to do but they don't tell you why to do it (this or that particular way). When it comes to cooking, here are some of the things I've learned:
Garlic. Why do you only cook it for approximately 30 seconds? Because it gets bitter as hell after it browns, that's why. You don't want little bits of bitter scattered throughout your dish.
Searing Meat. Why doit? 'Cuz it locks in the juices. Don't sear the meat and those precious flavoids will disperse throughout your dish and render the taste less than could be.
Leaving Cookies in the oven too long. "They don't look burned. Why take 'em out?" Tell you why- 'cuz once they cool they'll be as hard as rocks!
Overcooking pasta. Why do most cooks pull the pasta out when it hits 'Al Dente' (good enough to eat but not completely pliable)? They do this because if you leave the pasta in too long it turns to a texture best described as 'a combination of gooey and mushy'.
Q. Why add salt 'to taste' instead of dumping in the amount that the recipe calls for right off?
A. Didja ever try to UNsalt a dish? Impossible. You'd have to dilute it beyond reason to get the excess salt out. The right amount of salt brings out flavor, too much salt overpowers.
"Well then, can you add chilies, hot sauce, or pepper 'to taste'?"
"I wouldn't recommend it. Tell ya why- like too much salt, too much heat can't be taken out either. Also, heat tends to increase in a dish after it sits. Better to add any 'extra heat' at the table".
Noob- "Why are vegetables sauteed?"
Vet- "For two reasons. The initial reason is obvious. Sauteing softens them. The second reason, the hidden one, is that you want to get the water out. Vegetables are over 80% water. Steam rising from pans is good- unless you like soggy".
"Recipes call for X amount of this spice, Y amount of that one, and so on. Who cares if it's a quarter teaspoon or a half? Does it matter?"
"Hell yeah it matters! Little additions can create a surplus of flavor and spices are very flavor specific. Like excess salt and heat, excess spice is awfully hard to mask. Some spices are extraordinarly, er.... ...pungent".
Ok, enough Q & A. In the food world, there's a huge interest in exotic, complex flavors right now. These achievements are due to chefs tweaking recipes over and over until they find the right ingredients, which are then paired with the right techniques. Taking shortcuts in recipes or substituting ingredients won't bring you the results these chefs have painstakingly gained. This is the answer to the presupposed question "Why does my stuff taste so bad? I followed the recipe (close enough)!"
It ain't easy, I know. Knowing when something is done right, subbed right, or properly cooked can't really be answered because there are so many variables: in equipment, applications of heat, quality of ingredients, preparation of ingredients, and even atmosphere. I briefly address these, if only to illuminate the vast differences:
A. Cast iron will give you a different experience than cooking with stainless steel or aluminum.
B. Gas, electric, charcoal briquette, wood fire, or microwave heat sources.
C. Velveeta, store brand, artisan.
D. Grated, sliced, minced, chopped, whole.
E. Sea level, mountaintop, arid, humid, hot, cold.
Water source- important! Cooking with chlorine-laced or off-flavor, mineral-laden water will transfer those tastes to the food so tap water might not be the best ingredient. It's usually great for doing the dishes, though.
Speaking of chemistry, it might help to have some knowledge of same in order to understand why certain things are taking place in the pan, dish, or under the broiler. There is science behind all these processes but there is also (some say) love being infused in the food by exceptional cooks but who can prove that? (Maybe all that stuff about the chow at Grandma's house was true!)
“It’s either this…. ….or takeout!”
Jonathan Borba- Unsplash.com
Moving on, in my younger days I had this crazy dream. I vowed 'I would roam the world in search of the best chili'. What I discovered (in what turned out to be a decades-long quest) was that the name 'Chili' does not describe that commonly known dish except in the most basic way because there are millions of chili recipes out there. Nobody really knows what 'Chili' actually tastes like, same as nobody knows the answer to the concoctions known as 'Taco', 'Enchilada', or 'Pizza'. Generally, you can say it looks like 'this' and tastes like 'that'. Better are the more specific renditions of a common menu item. At least those will put you in the ballpark because if we for instance think 'pizza' there is a big difference between New Yawk thin crust, Chicagoland deep dish, California experimental, and Detroit's squared 'red top' pizzas.
These sorts of differences might be represented in specialized cookbooks, or on the web. The internet is full of knock off recipes. There are imitations galore of classic ethnic fare (Mexican, Chinese, Italian, French) regional (Southern, Midwestern, Southwestern, East Coast) nationwide chain (P.F. Changs, Outback, T.G.I.F., Olive Garden) or fast food (Taco Bell, Burger King, White Castle, Dunkin' Donuts) 'dishes' but man oh man that is a rabbit hole if ever there was one. Can't tell you how many times I've wandered down that road, seeking satisfaction but not finding. The 'Wendy's Chili Debacle of 2013’ comes to mind, where I took on three different copycat recipes and wondered why the hell I even wasted the time because though all of them claimed to know how to make the stuff the results were less than uhm.... ...stellar. The Great Understanding then dawned: "The restaurant world is full of incognizable secrets!".
(From the darkness, near the pantry cupboard, a shadowed figure spoke)
"You have gained wisdom, Grasshopper!".
(bowing) "Thank you, Master Po"
An entire industry is built around keeping you out of the loop and having you come to them to (temporarily) quell your addiction. McDonalds has its 'secret sauce', Wendy's its (1970's, not the current one) chili recipe, and Coke, Dr. Pepper, and Guinness Extra Stout have their mysterious formulas (some of which I think are held in The Vatican's basement). Just the other day I saw some 'food scientist' trying to replicate the taste of Nacho Cheese Doritos. "Try in vain, wannabe usurper!" I muttered at the TV, knowing where that was going.
Instead of reveals, what we have instead are guys and gals making a good living traveling the country and world, finding regional specialties and telling us all about their experiences eating them. They don't know how to make these dishes! Even Anthony Bourdain, bless his soul, couldn't replicate the exotic cuisine he was sampling, far as I know. All these people can or could do is point you to the special restaurant or street vendor's stand and if you happen to be in the area, tell you how and when to get in line! Even when the host and his camera crew are allowed into the kitchen there always comes the point where you aren't allowed to watch how the special step that makes the dish is applied, or what's in the 'secret mix of spices' they dump into the vat of the stuff that the customers are eagerly waiting at the tables outside for. Even though they make the signature dish five or more days a week and have been doing it that way since ol' granddad came up with the idea you'll never be able to make it that way at home. You can come close but hey- has anybody on the outside ever duplicated the taste of Coke or Doritos, much less the iconic USA regional offerings at places like Franklin's Barbeque in Austin, Drago's Seafood Restaurant in Metaire, Louisiana, or the frickin' chili dog at Martinsville Speedway in Ridgeway, Virginia?
...pause...
...Oh yeah(!).... ...this post was supposed to be about kitchen disasters. I have strayed! But to do so is my 'Artistic License'.
To sum all this up, in lieu of miracles happening where we get Replicators like they got in Star Trek or drone jets that can whisk takeout orders for Clam Chowder from the Union Oyster House in Boston, Fried Chicken from Gus's World Famous in Mason, Tennessee, Green Chile Stew from The Shed in Santa Fe, New Mexico, or a 'Half Smoke' from Ben's Chili Bowl in Washington, D.C., I, like you, will be creating but not quite hitting the mark. Some would call this a disaster, some a tragedy, but you know, coming close isn't bad. And maybe, just maybe, you or I will tweak a recipe enough or have a happy accident and nail a dish, like I rocked thin crust pizza (after only twenty or so attempts).
To close, the Gov’nah here announced yesterday that the 14 day quarantine for inbounds is going to run to the end of June. Ok then! Every state's situation is different. Hope some of you have time to cook, but if you don't anymore, I understand. There's always the weekend.
For me this blessing of sheltering at home has me tinkering with Chinese.
I'm happy to report that some headway is being made.