When researchers and scholars look back at the last weekend of April, 2020, this is what they will find. I wonder whether they will be curious, amused, or horrified. Here we go:
Many of the top headlines revolve around the notorious 'disinfectant' comment, issued by the man at the top, who of course claimed he was being sarcastic. Being sarcastic about something highly caustic I think ought to be clarified because some people might not have been paying keen attention during this particular and probably rambling ‘press conference’ to catch that subtle distinction. Clarification, please (hurry!).
News item number two was the Repubs were not so thrilled that the unemployed might not be eager to get back to work. When has that ever been news? Hel-lo! It's not like everything those cats do is designed to make going to work anything less than a pleasant experience, to put it mildly. 'Soul sucking' comes to mind. I mean, really.
The whereabouts of Kim Jong Un of North Korea has been creating buzz. Not that he’s being missed, it’s just that the people hovering near the throne want to know who Number 2 is in case severe groveling might be called for on a moment’s notice.
Moving on, researchers might be astounded to learn that in the midst of this national tragedy that some people were amassing large quantities of medical goods to hopefully create a shortage which they could then profit from by selling these goods at inflated prices to the desperate masses. Shocking? Nein! That game is as old as Adam. Or is it Cain? Adam was the good guy but it didn't take long for evil to step in. Ah, you know human nature. Nothing to see here, keep movin’.
A head honch at one of the large movie theater chains said that he wasn't going to open his theaters yet even if he was allowed to which I thought was good thinking. I don't know if it was good thinking on the chain's spokesperson's part as it might merely have been a measured P.R. response to a difficult question the press was sure to pose. Dig- if he opened his shops pronto and people got sick, that's gonna backfire and create bad press, which could tank his business in the bigger view of things, you know, like looking down the road a couple more months.
Matt Damon, I discovered, is Sheltering In Place in Ireland, probably at some spot where the air is clear, it having come all the way across the wide Atlantic. That’s how pandemics are dealt with by those what got in the modern age. Many are sheltering in Jackson Hole, Aspen, Ireland, and on private islands while the rest of us sweat it out. Of course Jason Bourne and his crafty kin would do something like that. They’ve got passports and stuff.
Help yourself! Nothin’ else to do.
Markus Spike- Unsplash.com
Speaking of celebrities, Stephen Fry weighed in on the goings on here in The States, kind of drawing conclusions that this whole mess is the result of foot dragging on the part of those that didn't want to see business get affected a whole awful lot. An astute assessment from that likable bloke across the pond. By the way, ol’ chum- how’s Brexit going?
Believe me, I've seen enough video footage about how this quarantine is affecting celebs, who have now invited us into their homes. Stuck at home lifestale? Welcome to our world, celebs! We kinda live at home a lot. Not much studio time here. Ever.
'Half Of Day Care Centers Could Be Gone After.....' ran another headline. Day care centers are of little concern to childless me but to workin' folk those places are literally lifelines. What are we going to do about that crisis? Where will people be able to drop off their precocious lil’ tikes? Uncle Sam's turning a cold shoulder there and many an envious eye is looking towards Canada. You know, covid-unemployed are gettin’ $2,000 a month (for four months) up there and that’s enough to keep one parent at home. That’s what ya get when you don’t have to finance aircraft carriers.
Speaking of which, the brave aircraft carrier captain who sounded the alarm and got canned might be getting his job back. Talk about cruise ships why dont’cha!
In other news of import, some inquisitive souls are pondering the question "Does sex boost your immune system?" and are eagerly testing the theory. I wonder if ‘Baby Boom II’ is going to be a post-covid phenomenon.
Unrelated, an item of curiosity. I frequently these days discover that overnight new words or phrases have sprung up in the English language and one such came to my attention. An article used the words 'Family Forests', apparently in reference to people having so great an amount of land that small forests are attached to them. Gee- it's something to aspire to. Having a 'family forest'.
And then we all know about the Las Vegas mayor that floated the idea of reopening the casinos. Whaddya think about that? People in close quarters, dropping quarters. Hell, I like to gamble just as much as the next guy but I draw the line when it comes to rollin' the dice on life itself. Don't wanna mess with Old Man Percentage on that proposition.
Georgia has reopened some businesses, which makes me glad I don't live there, and probably makes a lot of people that live there not want to live there anymore but they do and now all I can say is I wish ya’ll the best. Barber shops, bowling alleys, some restaurants, I think, and tattoo parlors(?) have turned the 'Closed' sign to 'Open'. Jeez.....
Update on that story- Nearly twenty states are going to partially reopen next week, thanks to Georgia’s audacious lead. Guess what color most of those babies are.
'Older People Thrive In Lockdown' teased another headline. Like, duh! They don't hafta hold jobs, ya know, and they ain't exactly yearning to jet to the gym to burn off excess energy. Give 'em a good classical literature book and they’re..... (hey- this is gettin' personal!).
Finally, (ol') 'MLK predicted this moment', ran another article lead. MLK believed in the dignity of work and boy ain't that ever apparent during these times. What, pray tell, would we do without grocery clerks, garbagemen, health care workers, fruit pickers, meat packers, all those unheralded folks that toil in the trenches so we can stroll into Costco like we own the place and snarf up a pack of Taquitos off the frozen foods shelf that'll get us dinner for days? Those people are important, always have been important, and boy do we ever need 'em now. The very definition of essential workers.
Oh, there could be more, lots more, but I'll end it here. That's enough. The last weekend of April 2020 will pass into history and the news cycle will churn out more to ponder come next week. So many issues, so little time to address them. Better spent might be the time it takes to learn how to construct jokes, something that has gathered most of my attention during this period. I'm trying to stay productive and the aforementioned, my friends, is a worthy cause.
P.S. Actually took a drive on Saturday and now masks are required couture. Can’t enter a store without ‘em, and you have to wait in line for a short while to enter the big boxes. The folks at the post office now have a clear plastic screen, kind of like those flexible ones you see on loading docks, that they stand behind. Food selection in grocery stores is limited, and for some reason there’s been a run on meat and potatoes roun’ here. The guv’ner relented and people can walk and run on the beaches again and I’m running out of things to do. Enviously watching travel videos and dreaming of wide open spaces at present. I guess a lot of that comes from walking through Target and seeing those bigger than life size images of carefree, smiling mask-less models wearing skimpy clothes while everybody around me was sullenly walking by six feet apart wearing a variety of masks, many homemade, like we were in bolshevik Russia, scrounging for supplies, and appearing very pissed off about life in general.