I know this sounds weird but I'm an unconventional person and so I'm going to relate through this story sort of how I see things and maybe some of it will resonate with you because The World is moving in this direction.
This is going to be a combination of how mainstream consciousness views things and how spiritual people view things and 'spiritual' doesn't necessary mean those who lean in the direction called metaphysical. It can also mean those who are in mainstream religions but in the family there is one or more that 'knows', or has dreams or visions or hears a voice that gives them information that things are either needing to be looked into or are ok fine.
It was that sort of voice or persistent idea that brought it home to me that I should volunteer for something that I never would have thought about doing otherwise. I guess I could say it just came to me, at first, as an idea. There is a lady around here that does a thing called 'Colon Hydrotherapy'. She runs an ad in a certain publication, published quarterly, that I see now and again, and over a year and a half's time I started to get a strange thought, that thought being "Maybe I ought to look into doing that".
That is the kind of thought that I never, ever usually have so to have it over and over was noticable, but it wasn't so pressing a thought that I felt I needed to heed the call.
So the notion of looking into cleansing the colon came to me in a different way. The local hospital sent out a kit where you could test your 'stool' (I am not going to mince words here) which I, not at all aligned with mainstream medicine, promptly disregarded, as a matter of course. But half a year later it came back, this kit in the mail, and this coincided with my partner's listening to a certain podcast where a person she respected said that undergoing a procedure called a Colonoscopy is the one thing that you should do and so I (and she) sent out the kit.
Hers came back negative, mine positive, so I gulped hard and scheduled The Procedure some four months into the future and promptly forgot about it, but never could completely, the date always surfacing in my mind to remind me what I had signed up for. But it seemed like the right thing to do, momentum was going in that direction, and I follow those kinds of subtle indications to let me know if I'm in alignment with The Universe or not and I figured I was, for no contrary signals came to override the decision I had made.
As the date drew nearer, it pressed on my mind more and more and there was fear there, fear about what they might find. I have always imagined myself quite physically healthy but this procedure I could not ignore. Well, I could, but that would have been the wrong thing to do, I felt. So I kept heading towards destiny.
I found out roughly what a Colonoscopy was and how it is performed, but while my partner read all about it and watched the corresponding You Tube video, I didn't. I wasn't really concerned too much about all that. What concerned me more was the prospect of needles and injections, which is not something I look forward to, this coming from my being innoculated numerous times in grade school where I stood in a long line of other kids to get shots and it was very painful and there was no way to escape it.
Undergoing a colonoscopy calls for prep beforehand, there are procedures you must follow starting about seven days in, these mainly having to do with people taking medication, which I don't, so I was able to forgo those. Two days in you stop eating fibrous foods and nuts. One day before, you stop eating solid food and this is where it gets interesting because along with the ceasing of eating solid food, and going to a clear liquid diet, you have to drink a substance called 'Gavilyte', which you pick up at the hospital's pharmacy. Gavilyte makes you go, you know. It's a powder that you mix with water in a four liter jug (slightly over a gallon). You drink half of the jug before five p.m. on the day before the procedure, and the other half of the jug the next morning, four hours before. I definitely added the optional ‘lemon flavor’ packet to my Gavilyte.
When I initially drank the stuff, I thought 'it' would take place immediately but the needing to go hits after about two hours. There's an initial release of solid then after that it's mainly liquid. A lot of liquid. My partner and I laughed a lot about this. You can't not laugh, it's rather embarrassing while at the same time funny. But we're adults. It's one of those things where you understand the seriousness and the why of something, but at the same time see the humor in it.
The morning of the day I was scheduled to have The Procedure, which was scheduled for mid-afternoon, I was nervous. I was pretty cleaned out by then but not feeling dehydrated or weak or much of anything else. I felt pretty normal.
Drugs are administered before and during the Colonoscopy so you have to have a driver, and my partner was acting as that, so when the time came she drove me down to the clinic and walked in with me. I was nervous, she too, and we clutched hands tightly as we walked in. She used to work in a hospital, and is not one to get nervous ever, but she was and I could tell.
We parted ways at the entrance to the Gastroenterology clincic, she being instructed by the nurse there to park in a different spot when it came time to pick me up in about an hour and a half, two hours. I was sad to see my partner go because that meant that I had reached the point where I was going to be undergoing The Procedure. Months of waiting beforehand were now gone and I was facing something I dreaded but felt I needed to do.
Never been hooked up to one of these before.
Jair Lazaro- Unsplash.com
The Procedure
After saying goodbye to my partner, I walked a short distance to the room in which The Procedure was to be held. It was smallish, containing only room enough for one bed and some cabinets along the walls. Various corners held equipment on wheels.
I was instructed to remove all of my clothing and place it in a basket, then put on a blue hosptial gown, climb into the bed, and pull the covers up. This I did, with some degree of trepedation, knowing that this was the easy part and what was to come next most likely wouldn't be, but didn't the nurse jokingly say that the worst was over (referring to the Gavilyte and elimination process I had endured beforehand)? I sure hoped she was right.
Shortly after I had climbed into the bed, a knock came upon the door. The same nurse entered, along with another one who introduced herself, saying that she would be with me throughout The Procedure. Now it was 'hook up' time. The wheeled carts and stands were pushed over my way. Attached to my chest were three sticky pads containing wires, 'placed in the least hair-covered areas' according to one of the nurses. I had a blood pressure cuff attached to my upper left arm. My BP was high, according to the nurse, and she said that my heartrate was fluctuating. This was attributed partly to 'white lab coat' syndrome, something well known in medical environments, where the patient is nervous and afraid and the sounds and readouts of the equipment measuring devices only heighten the patient's reactions and prevent truly accurate readings, for in the resting state, away from white lab coats and hospitals, back to normal people go. Well, I wasn’t at home and so my scooby ears were up. All senses were on high alert and we weren't even started yet.
A pulse monitor was placed upon my thumb, I can't remember which one, and then came "Sorry, a little poke" time, when the nurse on my right inserted an IV into the vein of my right arm near the elbow. It was just a little poke and so poof there went one of my biggest fears.
As the nurses were prepping me the doctor came in. He introduced himself, explained The Procedure to me, and then asked if I had any questions about it. I didn't. He then left, to soon return. Meanwhile, the nurse on my left had me read a form saying that I was cognizant of the risks, minor though possible, that might result from undergoing The Procedure and on that form's short list I saw some dire consequences- perforation of the colon, infection, and bleeding. But I felt I was in good hands, signed the form, and carried on. No way was I turning back now.
I was then told that before the administering of the sedative would commence I was to turn my body to the left and grab the left railing on the bed with my right hand. I would be laying on my side. The doctor had given me an idea of the tool he would be using, and how far within my body he would probe. I didn't think this would be painful, for some reason, and the nurses assured me it would not be for I would be under- though I might resurface- and if I did I would be seeing the inside of my colon on the monitor I was facing and not to be startled by that. I might also be feeling some pressure, heat, or bloating.
The sedative they would be administering, said the nurse on my left, would be a combination of the drug Fentanyl and some other one that stared with an R. I wish I remembered the name of the second one but upon hearing 'Fentanyl', and having recently researched and then written about it, I was intensely curious and all my attention went on that. I was a little bit worried about what its effects would be. I knew how strong that stuff was, and how little of it it took to take people out and stop their breathing, which is how people overdosed on the stuff. It shuts down their respiratory systems.
All preparations having then been made, I was instructed to turn onto my left side, the heartrate monitor slowly beeping away. Before I turned, I took one last look at the big analog clock on the wall. It read ten minutes to three.
That's the last I remember. I woke again at around three twenty-fiveish and the doctor was just wrapping up. It did not yet dawn upon me that time had passed, it seemed I had just closed my eyes and reopened them. I felt no pain whatsoever and was quite relaxed. The doctor departed, he had more patients to see and procedures to do, while the nurses remained to bring me back into the here and now. The Procedure had went well, they said, as they unhooked me. I experienced a little bit of pain as they ripped away those sticky pads from my chest, pulling some hairs with them, but down below, if you know what I mean, all felt ok.
Soon I was completely unhooked and sitting up. The nurses left me for a minute, I put my clothes on, then I was eased into a wheelchair and pushed out of the room. My partner was waiting for me there and looked relieved to see that I was alive and well, though she did report that I had a look in my eyes that told her that I was definitely still experiencing the effects of sedation. I thought differently. I felt that I could drive myself home but wiser minds than mine said "No, forget that thought, relax, take the rest of the day off". The nurse gave my partner some final instructions, which weren't much, basically they were to get me home safely and not let me think I could drive or operate equipment, keep me away from booze, those sorts of things. I was pushed out to the car, climbed inside, and we started driving away. I was conscious, but feeling kind of relaxed and dreamy, The Procedure had passed so uneventfully that I told my partner that I would suggest that others do it. It wasn't that big a deal. Drinking the Gavilyte and sitting on the pot beforehand had been the worst part. I can vouch for that. We made it home, and I got a little solid food in me. But it wasn't over yet.
For now came the wait. Some polyps had been removed, two, and they had been sent to the lab for analysis. Four to seven days later I would get the results. (polyps are abnormal tissue growths. There are usually a few found in any colonoscopy).
Well, those were a nervous ‘four to seven days’, let me tell you that. My intuitive sense was that everything was okay, but my mind at times raced, not a lot, "What if?” playing like a broken record in an annoying, unpredictable, and unwanted loop pattern. I spent those days kind of quiet and treating other people in a very nice way. I was humble, enjoying the little things in life, of which there are a lot, things like breathing, listening to music, sharing a laugh, and simply being a part of this big crazy human family, whatever my contribution or others' might be. I was also thinking that yeah, I had lived a good long life. If it was my time to go I was cool with it. Wasn't my A-list choice to go now, there were still things I wanted to do, see get done, and experience, but if it was time for me to depart well then so be it and Godspeed and maybe I'll come back again in another body soon 'cuz I sure wouldn't want to miss anything but damn it was a shame that I got to be quite experienced in life and had to give up my body and come back and go through all the being a kid and growing up waste of time before I got to be an adult again which is something that takes a long time to write but flashes through your mind in seconds.
In the end it wasn't seven days it was four and I wanted to get the damn thing over with, for good or bad already, so when the lady from the clinic called and said that she had my test results and left that message on my voicemail I called her right back. "Put your seat belt on" they oughta tell you, because this truly is the hardest part.
But I knew. I knew the answer already. I wasn't going to die. All was well. But still, I let out a big long satisfying sigh of relief. "All is well! All is well!" I wanted to shout from the rooftops but you know you can't do that. They'll lock you up! But I felt like doing that, and I did do it, but quietly enough not to cause trouble.
And so there you have it. My colonoscopy. It wasn't that bad. Fentanyl, the amount I got, just put me to sleep. I didn't feel any euphoria from it, didn't get no high. My pain was minimal, laughable even. The worst parts were all the worry beforehand and waiting on the test results afterward. So if you're scheduled for this, it's not gonna be as bad as you think. The nurses and doctors that do this (my partner worked in a hospital and clued me in to the vibe she felt in this one, reporting back that the staff’s capability level was high) do this sort of thing all the time. They know what you're going through. You'll be in good hands, most likely. I can't guarantee you anything, but I can say I've gone through it and would actually recommend it. It'll clean you out, that's for sure. They say every guy should do this about the time they get to be in their fifties. But that'll be up to you to decide. I wrote this so those of you thinking about getting a colonoscopy would have insight into what it's about and through that, hopefully it will lessen any fear.