I had this idea, a long time ago, that I wanted to live in community with others. Seemed like a good idea, right? It was one that was, according to The Media, overwhelmingly shared.
Together my buds and I would be like 'Friends', 'Cheers', 'Frasier', 'Seinfeld' or any of many, many other examples. We'd be situated in a big, vibrant city but live together in the same building, or nearby. We'd meet at the local cafe, coffee shop, or pub, or in some other manner- 'Scrubs' (work) 'MASH' (soldiers) 'Happy Days' (school chums, a lodger). We’d run into each other constantly and share what went on during our day.
None of us would ever leave or die so we'd have this time together and then if our little tribe disbanded we'd just go our separate ways and reform another one sorta 'just like that'. It wouldn't take long! After all, according to The Media's model, the world was full of people looking for companionship and if togetherness could be accomplished once it could be replicated, optimally in time for next season!
Correctamundo?
Those that didn't want to live in community like us free wheeling single gypsies would of course be creating families and be hanging exclusively, for the most part, with their own kind because families are like certain resorts, they're 'all inclusive'. Not only that, families tend to last forever because kids make grandkids and there's always something to do (baptisms, soccer practice, marriages, birthdays, graduations, etc.).
But I wasn't the family type, I missed that Disney cruise or rather I should say I said goodbye to it as it set sail. "Bon Voyage!" I gleefully waved and then sat and watched as that boat grew steadily smaller into the distance- and from the forefront of my mind. Who's got time for kids?
Plenty of people! And believe you me, if you've never had any.... ....you'll have nothing to talk to most parents about 'cuz their kids' lives are all they ever want to talk about.
But still, I kept this dream of community alive in me and thought that I just may find or create it some day.
Decades passed! The more I got to know people the more I saw how incredibly diverse they were and wondered how, in lieu of any family or shared work situations, they could ever get along with each other.
Adding to that, the older people got the less likely they were to socialize, it seemed, and I found that as I aged I shared in that mindset as well. You get pickier about who you even want to join into conversation with.
But that was okay with me. The dream I had had about living in community had all but faded into oblivion by then. I had moved a lot and never really been around the kind of people that I wanted to be friends with much. There were a few nascent friendships formed, here and there, but those people had their life trajectories and I mine and really... ...we lost contact with each other the moment whatever it was that had brought us together changed so...
....I had to come to grips with something I felt was true about me all along. I didn't really like people! I knew this because I never kept the bond with old acquaintances, something that a lot of other people seemed to do even after events conspired to separate them.
New evidence that tribal interactions really do exist.
Phil Coffman- Unsplash.com
What I was good at was I could talk to just about anybody about anything but as far as hanging out with them no, I just wasn't that type of guy. Some claimed I was a ‘loner’ but I've never thought of myself that way. I'm just perfectly content to spend most of my free time doing things that don't involve other people and believe me, the advent of the internet has only made that worse.
Or, better! For strangely enough, I find I do have a community now, and a vast one. I might not know the people in my community personally, nor they me, but we share a lot. I watch them on You Tube, read their opinion blogs on web page research forays, listen to their podcasts, observe them on TV, or in movies, and feel like I know them, or at least the parts of them that I'd like to know about and let's face it- the mundane stuff, the household keeping stuff that every human being has to do- the shopping, the laundry, the going to the dentist, the dealing with the in-laws, etc.- has nothing whatsoever to do with our relationships. It's the best of both worlds for us!
It's like what I'm doing right here. I'm sharing my thoughts with whoever cares to read them but I care not who reads them or even if they're read at all. It's the internet's way of communicating! I suppose I could open up to comments (and trolls) but what difference would it make to find that I'm 'liked'? 'Not liked'?
Not much.
And what about numbers? Liked (or not) by a hundred? A thousand? A million?
Big deal! I know that you can't meaningfully relate with that many people.
Maybe all the sychronicity in The Universe just isn't enough to bring people together for long in these fast moving times and 'Friends' and all those other 'Happy Days' scenarios have given way to a new paradigm, that of a mobile and mostly (by default and design) indifferent 'community' that we as individuals participate in. After all, it takes loads of time to develop real friendships, and if you don't have that precious commodity you can only go so deep with any sharing.
But I'm still holding out for the dream, being part of a tight little fun loving tribe, even if at this point it's just to see if The Universe can actually bring what seems to be impossible right to my doorstep, for I've all but given up networking locally to try and bring it about.
(like totally!)
Until then, media providers, keep those fantasies coming. At home after work over a glass of wine, after another day without being part of a tribe, I like to turn on Content and live vicariously.