I noticed it right away, the moment I stepped onboard. This was DIFFERENT.
"Good afternoon, sir!" a cheery staff member beamed. I'll show you to your quarters!"
I looked on the servant's nametag. It read "Jerzey".
"What country are you from, Jerzey?" I asked, as we walked towards my room.
"Uzbridzia" he answered.
"Never heard of it" I replied. "Is that somewhere near Russia?"
"Yes" Jerzey replied, "it's a very wonderful, but tiny country".
We soon arrived at my quarters.
"I will be your room steward" Jerzey said, opening the door for me. "I will keep your room in perfect condition throughout your cruise. Just press the buzzer on the wall and I will take care of anything that needs attention".
Jerzey showed me a few things about the cabin, and then left. I was eager to relax. "How nice" I thought, pleasantly surveying my quarters, which had a balcony view fifteen decks above the water. Throwing open the balcony doors I was met by a light ocean breeze. "Ahh!" I exclaimed as I plopped into a plush chair nearby and surveyed the expansive scene my balcony view afforded me. Not twenty minutes in I was already settling in to 'cruise life', where everything is taken care of.
Jamie Morrison- Unsplash.com
Up on the deck later, at dinner, I couldn't help noticing that the servers in the buffet line, where I chose to eat that night from the many options available, were smiling and friendly, ever helpful. Even when I got into an elevator alone with one later I didn't detect any of the usual disdain that cruise workers hide under the surface, they being contract labor subject to long shifts and less opulent shared berths on the decks below the passenger areas. Here there was none. 'Corrina' was unerringly bright and cheerful. It was almost too much. She told me about her homeland of 'Krastovia', which seemed to be another pleasant, though quaint and somewhat backward, Eastern European country I hadn't known existed. But there had been a lot of changes there, geo-political happenings that I had been slack towards keeping abreast of. Corrina mentioned the orchards in which her parents and other siblings worked, and the farm she grew up on, and though she had left there to travel she would be returning in six months for a long overdue visit.
I found I was nodding my head in agreement with Corrinas story, almost automatically. She seemed the perfect cruise employee, achingly sincere, painfully innocent, and wholesomely pure. What (another!) great catch for the cruise line!
And so it went, throughout my time on the Mermaid Of The Azure Seas. Whenever I had the slightest need for anything, a simple wave of the hand would bring a pleasant staff member instantly, almost, to my poolside chair, table, or seat at the bar. I couldn't get over the pristine level of service, and was adamant that when THIS cruise was over I was going to write a glowing review. But I also rued that my ten days in elysium were passing by quickly. Life here was effortless! My bed was made, my meals too; dishes and beach towels were whisked away, and every night I was offered a full menu of entertainment options. I must say, though, that compared to the staff onboard, the day tour operators I encountered on the docks offering shore excursions seemed to be almost gauche. Ruffians, they were, and though I was 'entertained' by their offerings, it came with a much, much lower level of service satisfaction that could be found onboard. Unfortunately, the Mermaid was not in control of the day tour operators, an issue we had been warned of beforehand. What a blessing and joy it was then, after a day onshore, to return to the ship! Many onboard were wondering a few days in what the point was in leaving for the day, I included. Cruise veterans that I encountered here and there onboard were heartily in agreement with that. But, taking in the sights and sounds of the islands we visited provided us with enough satisfaction, it was agreed, to make such endeavors worthwhile. After all, the cruise line could hardly be asked to create jungle tours, jet boat rides, waterfall hikes, and the like while still retaining the local flavor that those experiences provide- and cruisers expect. Of these excursions I, and many, many others on the liner, partook as we languidly sailed from island to island.
Bimo Luki- Unsplash.com
Then, sadly, the day came for me to disembark. Early that morning Jerzey was standing outside my door in the hallway, near a neat row of bags ready to be loaded by porters. I, oh so reluctant to leave, wished him a fond farewell. Trudging down the gangplank later with a group of departing passengers I heard a commotion and, like many of my fellow cruisers, looked back up at the ship. The entire service staff was dressed in their best in an orderly line and waving at us from the main deck, smiling and wishing us all a hasty return.
I know I'll be back! NOTHING beat my first ever A.I. cruise.
Until then I can only dreamily wonder, upon my return, what will the UPGRADED service robots be like?