I'm older than the former president and younger than the current one so I guess I could be president, which is something that I think about these days- a lot. All that power. All that attention. My name on the front page every single day. My words closely monitored and analyzed. I could make appointments! Not dental, like I do now, but I could put people I deemed qualified in charge of super important departments. The EPA! The Department Of Veterans Affairs! The Department Of Homeland Security! Stuff like that. I could tool around in Air Force One, which wouldn't be my conveyance of choice as Number 1, but I would have that at my beck and call, say, if I wanted to jet over to Europe and talk with my compadres over there about trade. Wow would that be cool. 'Cuz I would be the first president in a long time, if ever, that has actually held a real job, and a factory one at that, one of those jobs that Presidents always want to save!
White glove service wherever I went, an armed entourage shadowing me at all times in case some nut job wanted to take a shot. Golf every time I felt like it, that would be my style, and I would invite every entertainer I knew of or that was recommended to me to come play at the White House, which would be my crib. Congress would be knockin' on my door, trying to get me to sign off on bills with far reaching consequences, those bills entailing laying out vast sums of money or, I would be calling certain people in Congress I wanted to talk to about funding (currently 'The Wall' 'Space Force' and others) to come over to my crib and sit around The Conference Table that the press always takes pictures of, the one I'm always sitting at the head of. Heady stuff, that, but I think I would be able to handle it because you know what? There is no report card! Ever! I couldn't get fired! Well, I could, but as long as I was useful to certain factions such a play would be unlikely. Then, when it came to the military and those impeccably dressed Marines standing rail straight at the entrance to my crib, or at the chopper, giving me snappy salutes with eyes forward, whoa..... .....that's the kind of respect and honoring I've always been Jones'n for. Generals and Admirals would be asking me for my opinion on whether we should continue to occupy this or that country like I knew all the details that they were droning on and on about in the briefing room. Yeah, yeah, yeah! I know that lives are at stake and delicate balances exist in the region but what is more important to me right now is that tee time is at 1:00 and where is my headwaiter and personal food taster Mr. Sloan with the chow because it's almost time for lunch.
On the downside, though, it'd be only a four year gig, eight at the most, but I'd max out my time on the throne then drift off to a cushy retirement afterwards, maybe make some personal appearances here and there to bring in some cash, or I’d write a book (have to hire somebody to help me with that though, ‘cuz I figure I’ll be just too busy). Whatta life!
Just to clue you in, those of you younger than presidential age, who think that age brings wisdom, well..... .....I won't let you in on the gamut of old age knowledge, you'll get that automatically when you get to be my age, but I will tell you this: "Beware of anybody that claims to know it all, says that they have the master plan, has it all figured out, knows exactly what to do, can process tons of input and is able to make sense out of it, 'cuz they can't!”. Leastways, I can't. I know that about myself, and about everybody that I know of that is my age. But it just may be true that the president can process like that though, and that's the mystique that surrounds the guy that holds the office. Out of three hundred plus million, there is one man in the USA like Superman. When you get to presidential age, if you're not there already, you'll know exactly how plausible presidential mystique is. But until then, the question will relentlessly churn in your mind. "You know, it could be that there is somebody that capable!"
It’s like your car, if I can give you an analogy that you might better be able to understand. You pop into the thing and flip the key (or nowadays, press the button) and off you go, never thinking about the extraordinarily compex process that is going on under the hood. Any mechanic will tell you that flawless performance is like a damn miracle every day because they know all the things that can go wrong. The concept of 'presidential capability'' is like that. Ditto the concepts 'King', 'Prime Minister', 'perfect leadership', 'the economy', 'the stock market', 'the cooperation of all the nations in The World', and many others. You’ll get there. You’ll figure it out.