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Nation O' Loafers

      It has come to my attention that some of The Millennials are tired of working and want out. 
  Yes, it's true. Read an article last night about the F.I.R.E. movement (Financial Independence, Retire Early). 
     A case study of one Millennial was highlighted. The guy made over a hundred grand a year doing a job that few people save those in the tech world know exists and he wanted out because it was soul sucking and time demanding. Well, isn't that the case for nearly every job known to exist?
     Fortunately for our guy though, he made soooo much money that he was able to invest it and now he's set. Got his house paid off and a big pile in the bank, uh, wait, no- not in the bank. Banks don't pay jack in interest anymore. They used to, but few Millennials would know that, unless they did some research. 
      What his financial planner steered this guy into were low index bond funds. 
     'Bonds' are basically the financial structures for huge infrastructure projects that cities, counties, states, and even the federal government don't have the money to pay for up front. Bonds are like I.O.U.'s that these municipalities are beholden to redeem in good faith over time. They are not guaranteed but the chances of these governments failing is so low that bonds are considered safe long term investments. Much safer than stocks. 

'Relaxing in Corfu' is my latest Facebook post

Toa Heftiba- Unsplash.com


     Joe bulging wallet tech guy has a pile left over after payday, let's say he gets paid every two weeks. $110,000 a year translates into $4,230 gross every two weeks. That's not bad- ought to be able to easily cover gas and groceries with that. 
     He looks in his wallet after cashing his check at the Payday Loans center over in the rough part of town that he commutes past on his way to the gleaming tech building that holds his soul sucking job, or else it's a shortcut route that he uses from his time consuming working-at-home gig to quickly get the groceries, and says "Lookie here! Lot's left!"
      What to do, what to do?
     Down to Franklin Templeton or Merrill Lynch or FatCity Investments he goes, and he meets with the suit and tie guy there. They consult for a while and voila! Retirement for Joe is gonna come early. Thank God!
       Five, ten years later he's sittin' in the catbird seat. House is paid off, him and the wife are taking trips regularly, and the kids got college dreams that savvy Joe Tech Guy is gonna have them use scholarship money to finance, and none of his, if he can help it. 
     Work, you see, is for the percentage of the population that is far less astute, or fiscally unable to avoid. You folks will keep the country running while I'm taking it easy, won't you? Through your sales taxes, property taxes, and income taxes I'll get a steady return on my bonds, even while I'm kite surfing in Maui, hiking the jungles of the Amazon basin, or trekking through Nepal. 
     Oh, and I don't plan on returning to the workforce anytime soon, if ev-er, so keep paying those sales, gas, property, and income taxes, because part of those goes to paying off bonds and comes to me! I'm counting on you! 
       Because, if all of you figured this angle out, my life in Hog Heaven would end. Nobody would be left to take out the trash, stock the grocery store shelves, fly the airplanes, work construction, or fix the streets. Why, the list is endless! Still gotta have lotsa folks to do those soul sucking and time consuming tasks.