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Ministry Of Antiquities


With a sweep of his hand, my guide bade me enter.
"Here at the museum" he began, "we have artifacts from across many cultures and times. We have tried to recreate for our patron's viewing pleasure, in the guise of dioramas, or 'scenes', if you will, what life looked like during the times depicted. We have Stone Age man, Iron Age man, depictions of Viking life, of Conquistador domination, of The Cherokee walking The Trail Of Tears, and many others". 
     "As you can see, our choice of exhibits is very eclectic!" 
     "We have a diorama of a DJ sound booth from 1967, one of a car hop/drive in from the same period, one of a row of telephone booths, another depicting the food choices of a typical grocery store in 1975, and, as we move forward into modern times, we can see many of the old technologies that were in use then fading away, except for the ever-useful automobile". 
     "Tracing its history is best left to those who preserve such Pieces D' Arte. Actual rolling stock is the preferred method, rather than static display". 
     "Over here in this section we have clothing worn by hippies of the late 1960's, topcoat and wide-brimmed hat menswear from the 1940's, glamorous womens' wear from the same period, but unlike everything else we have on display, clothing, strangely, is the one thing that seems to have devolved!" 

Loud, but not elegant

Mariya Georgieva-Unsplash.com


     "People back in the day adorned themselves, if they could, with the highest quality fabric available, and the most colorful. Great care was taken in the manufacture of clothing. Rank and status within the community was made clearly evident". 
    It was at this point that my museum guide let out an involuntary sigh. "I have to show you what was, so that you can fully comprehend the tragic turn of events. Come along. This way"
We wandered through a great hall where the accouterments, the clothing worn during each and every age known to man, was presented. Peasant and farmer wear was rough and drab, as was the garb of the miner, but this only because they had no money to afford better. It was amazing to see what passed for everyday street wear amongst the middle classes in the 20th century. Even way back in 1910 efforts were made to distinguish oneself from the grimy laborers all around. My guide then led me into the clothing choices of the present, a new exhibit that the museum had just opened. 
  Here on display was a seeming mockery of the efforts of those past, those who had tried to elevate the human condition. There were dockworkers T-shirts, all manner of blue jeans (formerly called dungarees, worn only by common laborers), and shoes of neon green and florescent orange. Colors screamed and clashed, mismatched outfits appeared to have been purposely thrown together, most of what passed for hats looked crude and cheap, and none of the clothing was tailored. Women wore utilitarian black tights over which some sort of top was chosen for the day, apparently from an inexhaustible selection, and men wore cargo shorts as a rule. "I've seen enough" I cried to my guide, while shielding my eyes, aghast at the lack of elegance on display. "I need see no more!"
He quickly led me back to the 1940's section, where I was able to recover over thirty minutes time, before being led out of the museum a bit later.
      On my drive home I was able to again withstand The World, for I have been hardened. Still, I thought about what I had just been exposed to. Gone are the days when fashion meant looking like- how can it be put? Like you lived in a castle, or a mansion. Nowadays it's all designed for comfort, 'breathability', 'loose fit', and when it comes to colors, anything goes. While I agree that comfort and fit is important, and that new clothing technology should by all means be employed- or at least tried out (nothing I know of yet beats good ol' cotton for comfort)-  there is no sense of 'look' anymore. Like the wildly different hairstyles people nowadays are oh so casually sporting, let's throw all the ages of man together in a crowd! 
     Thus it is with amazement and amusement that I observe the passing fashion show at my airport job. Lots of people look like they just got offa the sofa and onta the plane so when somebody actually shows that bucks that trend, really puts some thought into their outfit and wears it with an attitude of haughty disdain for the mundane clothing choices people have made all around them, I say "Bravo! Bravo, citizen! I celebrate the fact that you, out of this horde of commoners, showed up!" 
"I know your outfit makes you stick out like a sore thumb, draws a lot of attention, and calls for bravery galore but yeah- doesn't it make you feel good to look around and think “Not a shlub! Not today!”