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Fifteen Hundred Year Old Man

     It was brought to my attention that a man this age lived nearby. I checked into it, thinking it a hoax.
     "Hi, I'm Carl" he said when he opened the door to his modest apartment. 
     "Sam" I said. "I hear you're fifteen hundred years old"
     "Not quite" Carl replied. "I will be, in 2059"
     "Have a chair" Carl gestured, inviting me in. 
     I would certainly have thought that a man of Carl's years would be fantastically rich but Carl's apartment was not by any means lavishly appointed. In fact, by modern standards, it was downright spartan. I took a chair while Carl settled into a 1960's divan across from me. 
    "Coffee?" asked Carl. "You look like you need some"
    "Sure. It's early" I replied. I could see that Carl at least had a coffeemaker. Soon he was back with a couple of steaming mugs. 
    "It all started back when I happened to be associated with King Arthur" Carl began. "I drank from a cup he had sitting on the Round Table. Turned out the damn thing was the Holy Grail. How was I supposed to know?"
    "Did others drink from that cup?"
    "Maybe. I don't know. A lot was going on at those meetings. They were kind of raucous. Lots of grog. Arthur was no teetotaler, I'll tell you that"
    "Rough times, those?"
    "Not as rough as what came after. Years later I was doing a lot of roaming about the countryside. People kept dying on me and I had to move on. Life was pretty short. Can't tell you how many wives I went through"
    "By this time you must have thought your longevity pretty remarkable"
    "Remarkable? I was goddamn mystified! Black Death, the pox, none of it took. I'd get conscripted to this army or that and be the only one standing after the battle! If I got wounded I would heal. Sailor I was, many times, and the ship would go down in a storm or get washed up on the rocks and there I'd be, clinging to a piece of wood or washed up on the beach safe and sound. After a while you start to realize....." Carl paused and looked into the distance for awhile, as if he was searching his vast memory, before resuming. "....that you're not gonna die. No matter what. Gives you a brighter outlook, that's for sure"
     "Ever wish you could move on, er, 'die', like the others, especially if one that you love greatly passes?" I asked.
      "Early on, yes, oh, hell yes you do. After a while, not so much. You'll see 'em again"
     "The same person?!"
    "Can't say for sure. Might be. Feels like it. Their qualities are similar but I'll tell you- even if they resemble 'em, they're not exactly the same. Never"
    "How about you? Ever make it into a really good job, a leadership role? You must have had numerous opportunities"
    "Yes, I did. But I'll say this- It's dangerous at the top! Everybody wants your head! Plotting and scheming always to take your place! Can't trust a damn one of 'em! Yeah, I tried that, made it to Earl one time, to Prince another, next in line to the throne, but chose to travel to far regions of the realm for an extended stay. The thing is, people expect you to age and when you don't, they get freaked out. Best to stay out of the spotlight. It's easier to move around that way"
     "Your health? Doctoring wasn't so good back then"
    "Haven't seen a 'doctor' in well over a thousand years! Teeth are still good- got 'em all! Can't say it's because of what I've been eating because my diet has changed. A lot".
    "I'll bet it has! How many kids do you think you have?"
    "Thousands. But as many of 'em are dead. None of 'em got the gene or whatever passed to 'em that has kept me alive, sad to say. I raise 'em up then say goodbye. They never know that I am destined to outlive them"

Me and some of my boys, around 1670

Christian Fregnan- Unsplash.com


     "Religion? What's your faith orientation, or do you have any?"
     "Well, that's a good one there. You'd figure a guy like me would believe in God and I do but not in the way you'd think. Tell you why- people think they know what God is but their perspective is only through the lens of one lifetime. Try hundreds of lifetimes"
    "But you haven't lived that many. You lived one very long lifetime"
    "Doesn't matter. Enough time passes you experience it all, and I have seen it all. We could talk here for a hundred years. My memory goes way back. I'll tell you what-a lot of your history is wrong"
    "How would you know that? You only saw the small picture"
    "I saw enough of it to know that when I read about certain periods of time things weren't exactly that way. Can I get you more coffee?"
    "Sure" I watched Carl rise, and quite spry he was, looking not a day over forty. He filled my cup and quickly returned.
    "Technology is big right now, Carl" I said to him, after he had again settled into his seat, he also having a fresh mug of Joe in hand. "What do you think of the devices we have at present?"
    "They're okay" Carl offered. I thought he would have a stronger opinion so I pressed for more.         

Fun to drive but hard to park, my Caddy

Izumi Jones, Unsplash. com

     "Technology is amazing! Just in the last ten years there have been so many upgrades....."
    Carl interrupted me. "You forget you're talking to a man that has seen far more than just fancy gadgets! I've seen the sweep of history!"
     "Yeah, right" I agreed. "In that light, it's not such a big deal"
    "It is" Carl said in response to that. "It is a big deal, but so is everything else. Every age has its inventions and breakthroughs. I remember how amazing it was to have an oil lamp for light! Electricity! You should've been there when that came on the scene! It was just as big a deal as having a smart phone!"
     "Carl, I could talk to you forever, and probably actually could. Any idea you have on how long you're going to live?"
    "I dunno. Haven't a clue. I usta think that the good Lord would come and take me home or some religious playout like that was gonna happen, but after you turn 100 you wake up in bed and marvel that you got one more day. Then when you get to be 120, you're really amazed. After that, the fact settles in that you're different. Then you just wonder, now and again, about it and don't give it any more thought than that. You develop interests, get involved, and don't want to die"
     "Not that you did in the first place!" I offered.
    "Right" Carl agreed. "Over and over you're told that you got this long, more or less, so when the time grows near you'd better get your affairs in order. I did that like all the others and nothing happened. So I forgot about it"
     "That's a good place to end, Carl" I said, fascinated by our discussion. "I didn't think you were real and now I'm starting to think different. I'd like to come by and talk again, if you would be open to it"
     "Hell yes I'm open to it!" Carl replied. "In all this time I've never been interviewed. Nobody believed me! Will your readers believe me?"     

You knew Guinevere?!

Jon Ly- Unsplash.com

     "It's up to them" I said, rising from my chair. "Makes for a damn good story. Nearly fifteen hundred years of being alive, without a break. Say, just one more question. How do you pay your bills? I've been dying to know"
     Carl walked me to the screen door, his hand on my shoulder. "Art, Sam, art. I'm a collector.  Investments. Stocks, bonds, even simple interest compounded over decades upon decades. I save old stuff that fits the times and people don't think to keep. The antiques business has been very good to me"
     "But you don't live like you're rich"
     "This isn't my only apartment".