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Coffee, Coffee, Coffee

       I am the poster child for coffee. I start every day with a cup or three of the stuff. Dark and black. The chaser to my Joe is an almond poppyseed muffin and no other muffin shall pass my lips so help me. No chocolate, no orange/cranberry, no banana, no double chocolate, no corn, no bran.
      Coffee is my starting fluid, Without it I am not complete. With it, I am whole. Can't stand the taste of tea, unless it's Earl Grey. I will drink that from time to time, but only in the afternoon. 
     Why only coffee, primarily, for me? I don't know. It's not considered to be a 'food' but for me it IS. 
     Lots of stores carry coffee, whole bean, which is the best, 'cuz you grind the beans and make the coffee fresh.

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     My parameters for Joe: 
     Coffee MUST be made in a Bialetti espresso maker, a little stovetop contraption that you can buy for around forty bucks.  A Bialtetti makes the best Joe, better than a french press, better than drip, better than percolated, better than (shudder) instant. 
     The water is important. It must be the purest available, because I don't want any off flavors, especially chlorine, in my Joe. 
     Heat is critical because coffee has to be served piping hot. Iced coffee? An abomination. 
     Coffee must be black. No latte, no machiatto, no whipped cream, foam, mocha powder, cinnamon, nothing like that. No sugar. (That comes from the muffin, you see). 
    Coffee is kept in a thermos, a large one, that holds a lot of coffee. Just in case. 
    There have been days that, for whatever reason, coffee has not been available. Rough days, those. Perhaps a delay was experienced before coffee was procured. And woe to me if I be somewhere where the kind of coffee I like is not readily available, like in a cafe americain foreign country. "Excusez-moi, ou puis-je obtenir un cafe allonge? Rapide?" (Pardon me, where can I find good coffee, strong coffee, black coffee? Quick?).
    Tea, milk, water, or orange juice for breakfast? Not in this house. It HAS to be coffee.