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Ratt Rod

    I spent some time living in a medium-sized but rather vanilla Colorado town and there was this guy.
I used to see him here and there, because my job had me driving around town a lot. I'd be waiting three deep to make a left turn at the speed camera controlled intersection, or driving along any of a number of busy arterial drags that fed traffic to the freeway, and spot him. And he was always easy to spot. 
His vehicle of choice was a slightly lowered, apocalyptic-looking, yellowish/rust-orange colored mini truck that had sort of warrior-themed, black stenciled skull on the driver's door. A hint of a powerful engine peeked out above the hood and if you were within a few cars of the thing you could hear it rumbling. 
The driver looked like D-Day from Animal House, with his slight snarl, wrap around shades, and dark, thinning, slightly greasy hair. 
Nearly every other car in town was stock, right off the factory floor, accessorized but not modified, climate controlled, emission compliant, whisper quiet, and boring. 
D-day's snarl probably was one of contempt for people driving company vehicles and ordinary commuter cars because the souped-up mini truck he was driving had to be serious fun. Cops didn't see it that way, oh no, they wanted to be the only ones in town driving the performance cars, tearing off down the road in pursuit, which they had a license to do, but there were times I wondered what their hustling was all about because I couldn't see any reason they were driving so fast. Maybe it was the end of the shift and they were racing back to the yard to park it or they were bored and it was time for a little driving excitement. 
Something I and the masses were never allowed to have. 

License and Registration not required!

Koen Van Ginkel- Unsplash.com

There was a passenger in town I picked up once that told me that he had twelve points taken off his license because some cop said he had pulled away after the light turned green ‘as if he was racing’. Twelve points! He showed me the ticket- 'Intention To Race' was written on it. Said he was going to fight it in court. Twelve points on your driving record in Colorado was four points more than getting caught for drunk driving! I thought this way over the top unjustified.

Motorcycle cops with their radar guns lurked at the trouble spots in town, places I knew about, this simply due to plying every damn street in town over and over, so I knew to look out for them, and then these speed trap/speed camera vans started showing up and driving became about as fun as if the damn driving instructor at the DMV was sitting beside me at all times. 
Not that I (or most of the people in town) was a speeder, drove erratically, was prone to fits of road rage, or was in any other way a menace to other drivers or pedestrians but the overwhelming and constant police presence the local governing body was financing (the police department was one of the biggest and newest government buildings in town) highly suggested that left to ourselves, the streets would become drag strips filled with drunks, road ragers, and other such out of control menaces to society.
So it was a relief to see D-day bucking the trend. Every time I saw the guy he reminded me that driving- and especially commuting- used to be fun. Cars were never meant to be the cookie-cutter, closed cockpit, sensory deprivation chambers that they unarguably have become. Cars are machines built to serve humanity and machines that serve mankind have personalities. 
Now I know a lot of people don't believe this, but cars, like everything else, have consciousness. Not the same that people have, but they do. Ask anybody that drives for a living. Like your car, it'll like you back. Appreciate your car and it'll like you back more. And nobody appreciates cars more than car enthusiasts. 

I’ll be taking the yellow one home

Marc Kleen- Unsplash.com


So there's a bonding there. You're one with the vehicle. It knows you and you it. Let that fresh air come in! Feel the rumble of the engine! Know how she handles, how she responds to the throttle, how the tires bite on the curves. Pilots know planes, captains know ships, engineers know trains, and real drivers know cars. 
Car designers have gotten away from that. Cars used to be hand made, not made like toasters. Oh, I'm straying here..... 

Dig- there is a show on Netlix right now called Gotham Garage. If you wanna see how it's done, how driving can be made fun again, that's the show to watch. Whatever this team builds for their customers is guaranteed to be the only one of its kind in town. Fun to drive? No question. Headturner? You bet.
So it is possible to reverse the unfun car trend. Getting from point A. to point B. doesn't have to be as boring as sitting in a laundromat and maybe by making driving fun again people won't be in such a hurry to get from here to there, which they are now, because the cars they're driving aren't fun to drive!
D-day understood this sort of reasoning. Speed cameras, motorcycle cops, and speed camera vans be damned, he was gonna drive his ratt rod anyway and enjoy his time behind the wheel.